Memoirs of a Jason

Jean Kerr

2012-02-14T13:51:00.002+11:00

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas? - Jean Kerr

As many of you know, I am currently directing a musical production of the classic story: Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. It is a terrific show, with haunting music and one of the most famous story-lines of all time. But it is not, as is most commonly thought, a story of good vs. evil. Because the evil is within Jekyll the whole time. The theme I will be presenting to the audience is one of the cage that society builds, that we ourselves build, to house the animal within us and present a more pleasing front to the world. A facade.

And the question that the show presents is this: is a facade a bad thing?

Well, is it? The Victorian Era (when the story is set) is well-known as a time where the baser instincts of humanity were well hidden beneath a layer of absolute correctness. In fact, when one thinks of Victorian times, one often thinks of the niceties of life; sweet ladies, polite gentlemen, and cucumber sandwiches. But Victorian times are also known for the depths of human degradation that were tucked away beneath the perfect societal exterior. Brothels, opium dens... these were the haunts of the high and mighty, those who were willing to pay top dollar to hide behind a mask all day, and release their animal instincts all night. In fact, it has been argued that the depths to which the Victorians sank was a direct reaction to the stringent restrictions that their well-mannered society placed on them. To bring it a more modern feel, I am often asked what it was like to go to a Christian school, compared to a public school. My answer is this: it's the same as going to a public school, only everyone learns to hide everything better.

Pic From: www.diytrade.com/china/4/products/504360/Pulp_mask_for_masquerade.html

So the question remains; is a facade a bad thing? One could say that if it's just a put-on, something we use to hide who we truly are, then any front we present is a lie, and therefore morally questionable. After all, shouldn't we be honest with ourselves and others about who we truly are and what we're truly capable of?

On the other hand, by saving our loved ones from having to see what's underneath the skin we live in, by obeying the rules of society, aren't we saving ourselves and others from pain, and from having to live through the consequences of the actions we could take if unrestrained?

After all, if Jekyll had just been happen to hide his evil self like everyone else, Hyde would never have been created.

I often look at rebellious kids on the news who show little to no remorse for their actions when interviewed and think to myself, "Why couldn't they just bury that? Suppress it, like we say they should? Can't they behave? If they just followed the rules, everything would be ok." We blame them for stepping outside societal norms when they could make everything easier by maintaining a facade of normalcy and they in turn accuse us of hiding who we really are behind a mask of lies. "Are we so different?" they ask us. "Am I not just a more honest you?"

So why do we hide? To spare ourselves and others pain? To avoid facing the consequences of what we could do? If there's anything that CSI, and many crime shows before it have taught us, it's that we are all capable of anything. So when we hide that part of ourselves, is it fear that drives us, or social responsibility?

Why do you try to present a pleasing facade? Why do you make sure that your beauty is at least skin deep? What is it you have to hide? And who exactly are you hiding it from? Everyone else, or yourself? As my show asks; do you dare to look behind the facade?

Oscar Wilde

2012-02-06T13:50:00.000+11:00

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months. - Oscar Wilde

Pic From: http://worthwild.net/blog/page/3/

Change is inevitable. And no more so than in the world of style, fashion, trends and fads. Constant shifting of "the way" to do something or "the look" to have or "the talk" to talk is a part of the human condition. It is used as a way of differentiating between those who are in the know, and those who are out of the loop.

Only the cool prevail.
Only the sweet survive.
Only the rad endure.
It's survival of the phattest.

It's our way of constantly evolving our society. Of course, it's not as harsh as Darwin or Spencer. In this arena, if you can't keep up with the environmental changes, you're square, not dead. But we have a unique view of our social evolution that extinct species don't:

We can look back and say... "What were we thinking?"

So here's a list of some of the styles, fashions, trends, and fads that I, personally, am glad have gone the way of the Dodo.

Little Dogs in Purses

Pic From: http://petfashionista.com/cgi-sys/suspendedpage.cgi

They're already hardly dogs to begin with, why did we ever need to carry them around in purses? Thanks goodness we've (mostly) let the humiliation of man's best friend come to an end. I never understood it. They aren't like anything else that goes in a purse. Unless you can trade them in for a Frosty at Wendy's, put them back on the leash. They have twice as many legs as we do for a reason.

Actors in Blackface

Pic From: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blackface

Al Jolson famously "Ma-mee"'d his way into fame in blackface, but the racial obviousness of white actors performing in black makeup soon put this trend back into the costume trunk. Also, it turns out that black actors can play themselves onstage just fine, thank you very much.

Big Mouth Billy Bass

Pic From: www.genxtinct.com/2011/12/our-new-book.html

It seemed like a great idea at first. But then you got tired of pressing the button and hearing Big Mouth Billy Bass sing. So it became an ugly, but silent wall ornament. And then your friends came over, and a constant stream of "Don't Worry, Be Happy" filled the room. And BMBB moved to the attic, where he was always meant to be.

Wearing Suits for Swimming

Pic From: www.generationaldynamics.com/cgi-bin/D.PL?xct=gd.e070118b

Regardless of your body image, anyone who's been in the hot Australian sun will tell you that wearing Victorian swimsuits is not the best way to cool down at the beach. Or to get a tan.

Pet Rocks

Pic From: http://livelearnloveleave.com/advertising/whats-your-pet-rock/

How much was this not a pet? No care required, no responsibility taught, no expense spared, and no way you'd put it in your purse when shopping. Still, it's better than having a cat.

Trucker Hats

Pic From: www.men-access.com/nkotb-cap-and-trucker-hat-the-best-gift-for-your-woman/

I blame Ashton Kutcher.

Do the Rachel 'Do

Pic From: www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/8266877/Jennifer-Aniston-I-hated-the-Rachel-haircut.html

It was fine on her. And it was fine on the first million or so copy-cats. But after that it just got old.

Corsets for Men

Pic From: www.hsl.virginia.edu/historical/reflections/winter2008/mens_corset.html

Sure, it gave us a swell posture and a nifty shape, but how were we supposed to bow to our woman's every whim if we couldn't bend over?

Tamagotchi

Pic From: www.toysnjoys.com/tamagotchi_handhelds.html

The precursor to Facebook, the Tamagotchi taught us that technology could take something electronic, and use it to devour time.

Powdered Wigs

Pic From: http://shadesbreath.hubpages.com/hub/Hairstyles-of-the-British-Court-Whigs-in-Wigs

This fad was the original Hair Club for Men. Louis XIII was going bald and wanted to hide it. It caught on and flourished, getting bigger and bigger before they shrunk again, hiding only the shiny pates of members of the legal profession, who wear them for special pronouncements, all the while objecting to the itchiness.

Troll Dolls

Pic From: www.etsy.com/listing/30823458/vintage-russ-troll-dolls

They're just creepy. The dead eyes, the frozen smile. Arms wide open and unashamed nudity. Exactly what were we trying to tell our kids with this one?

Denim as Anything but Jeans

Pic From: www.thechapel.co.uk/blog/index.php/2010/03/whats-hot-this-week-double-denim-2010-style/

Look, jeans are great. But jean vests? Shirts? Tassles? Skirts? Mom-jeans? Even jackets can run a fine line. Try to remember this little ditty if you go shopping for jean-anything. "When buying denim, yes for pants, anything else, you take a chance."

The Rat-Tail

Pic From: http://foodlovesfashion.blogspot.com.au/2011/06/rat-tails-should-be-renamed-radtails.html

Every time you see one, don't you just want to pull as hard as you can? What did this style say? I cut my own hair, but couldn't reach far enough to finish the job?

The Macarena

Pic From: http://macarena.com/

The Macarena was one of the most scientific of dances. It worked through a predictable and replicable process, with a basic form running through eight steps, but cultural differentiations allowed for variation depending upon the persons involved. Even now, years after its demise, a careful observer can still note a cause-and-effect correlation between the frequency of its resurrection at weddings and the amount of alcohol that is ingested by the guests.

Smoking

Pic From: http://blogs.ubc.ca/samevans/page/2/

Smoking used to be cool. Everybody who was anybody did it. James Dean, Humphrey Bogart,Winston Churchill. Now it's less cool. But only because of the finally-acknowledged health issues. And because of the ash clouds in your favourite restaurant.

Tie-Dye

Pic From: http://tiedyeyogapants.net/

Like disco, Tie-dye still has its followers. And like disco, its followers are wrong.

Large Glasses

Pic From: www.readingglassesshopper.com/blog/2012/01/celebrities-ugly-glasses/

On the positive side, we could see perfectly clearly out of the corner of our eyes without moving our heads. On the negative side, we looked like idiots.

The Word "Not"

NOT!

Back in the days when wit was unemployed, we used the word not to signify our disagreement with something we ourselves just said. For example: I sure wish we would start saying 'Not!' again. Not!"

So, what did I miss? What fads and styles are you glad have disappeared? Banana seats on bikes? Slap bracelets? Bear-baiting?

Karl Kraus

2012-01-29T15:55:00.001+11:00

Congratulations! You have just started reading my second blog series! Technically, this is only an introduction, but still...

Due to the overwhelming popularity and success of my first (some people actually read it!), I have decided to go again, once more unto the breach. This time, I will be basing my variety of thoughts, ideas, and bits of nonsense on the thoughts, ideas, and bits of nonsense that have gone before. Each of my next few blogs will be based (perhaps loosely at times) on a famous (or should-be-famous) quotation.

By the way, as a side note, is there a word for "should be famous?" Like infamous, but different? Anyway...

So, once again I plan to gobble up my apportioned amount of internet to treat you to the inner workings of my mind. They will be a mixed bag, and yes, I am open to suggestions from the audience; if you have a favourite quote, pass it along, and we'll see what we can do. In the meantime...

Quotations are interesting things. Pithy, witty, and sometimes even true, quotations often begin as a succinct way of making sense of the world, which is then handed over to that same world which over-handles it until it sinks into the deep, dark abyss of cliché. Whether it started out as wisdom or not, years of mis-quoting the words, using the quotation for the wrong scenario, or simply ignoring it until it is revived years later when it no longer has any cultural significance has made the way we think of quotations change.

Gone are the days when they could be pulled out at serious moments and create a quiet contemplation in the listener. Now, we prefer to hang them on cubicle walls underneath single words meant to encourage us, as if being ADHD members of the MTV generation hasn't destroyed our cultural attention span enough. "Life's wisdom boiled down into a single sentence? No thanks, too much work. If you can just hang up a picture of a sunset with the word "Teamwork" as a caption, that'll be enough. I don't need to worry about the small print."

Have quotations any meaning left for us? I'm not asking individually, but as a medium of communication. Do we listen? Do we hear? Do they have anything left to say? Can we trust pithy statements from the past for truth and wisdom in a modern world when all opinions are held with equal regard and all information is available instantaneously? Can all that humanity knows about a subject, or an ideology, or a person be boiled down into one memorable sentence? Karl Kraus says no.

An aphorism is never exactly true. It is either a half-truth, or a truth and a half.

- Karl Kraus

Let me know if he's right after we finish this series.

Pic From: www.gobankingrates.com/celebrity-money-quotes/

Edelweiss

2012-01-12T16:16:00.002+11:00

As a close to my The Sound of Music Series, I've decided to answer a question I'm often asked:

"Why blog?"

A fair enough question. So, here goes...

I am a member of the Information Generation. Over-sharing on social media sites, theexplosion of nonsense celebrities, Wikileaks...anything I want to know, and everything I don't want to know is all availableat my fingertips. This is what we do. Want to know who's about to go out and rake the leaves? Want to know how many angels can dance on the head of a pin? Want to know how many times the word "the" appears in the Bible? That information is out there. But why?

Why is it that in the last 20 years, useless and private information became so accessible? Why is it that in the last 10 years people started blogging their thoughts to the world? Why is it that in the last 5 years Facebook and Twitter have made TMI the norm? Why does this generation think it has something to say?

Because it does.

Because the times, they are a'changin'.

Maybe you disagree. Maybe you think, "Oh sure, technology is advanced, but people haven't really changed in the last few generations. Perspectives on the world haven't changed in the last 50 years."

But consider, the last generation remembers where they were and what they were doing when a man walked on the moon. This generation will remember where they were and what they were doing when the second plane hit the south tower.

Our world is different than it was. We see things in a different way. We have a different voice. So why do we blog, tweet, and update our statuses? Because in spite of the inanity of our constant information overflow, we think that as the representatives of this generation, our voice should be heard (and yet we still seldom vote. Shame on us).

But social media and blogging are seen by this generation in the same way that the Gutenberg Press was seen in mid-1400s. Only, we've pared down the incredible power of social disruption that the printing press embodied and made it, like so many other things in the Western world; individualized. Like the press, blogging is a way of disseminating information (and misinformation!). It's a way of sharing opinions, and creating dialogue. It's a way of speaking out, and being heard.

Pic From: http://en.ucoin.net/users/coin/austria_2_euro_cents_2002/?ucid=5

As part of a fitting end to this series, on the Austrian Euro two-cent coin an Edelweiss flower is pictured. And that's what blogging is for me, and for so many others who do it. It's an Edelweiss. It's putting in our two cents, for anyone who cares to listen. Now, we know that maybe no one is reading, but that's the beauty of a blog. It's the perfect mix of a public diary and a personal diary. The internet can alternately give us a world-wide platform for our thoughts and opinions or can give us the international anonymity of a private journal. Mine has served me well as both.

So, if any of you are interested in starting a blog, I recommend it. If any of you are interested in a following a blog, I recommend it. Sharing opinions, whether you're writing or reading, is a worthwhile pastime, one I hope you've been enjoying here.

Now, having finished the series, I have a few questions for you all:

What should I write about next? Did you like the series idea? Do you have any thoughts on what I should talk about next time? Let's hear it folks, we're all in this together.

How Can Love Survive?

2012-01-09T02:57:00.000+11:00

Television has provided our society with many wonderful things. And I'm not referring to Murder, She Wrote. Well, not just Murder, She Wrote. TV brought The Beatles and Elvis to the world on the Ed Sullivan Show. It brought mankind to the moon and allowed every viewer to take a swing at the Berlin Wall. It produced tears with the M*A*S*H finale, brought families to their feet during the Olympics, and took Dick Van Dyke off his at the beginning of every show.

But if there is anything that the great melting-pot of human wisdom that is television has taught me, it's that if there's one thing you can count on the new year to bring you... it's a recap of the old year.

Prior to the New Year's Eve countdown this year, Krista and I saw a "Top Stories of 2011" special. And among the tsunamis and earthquakes, the wars and peaces, and the international rivalries contained within sporting events were a selection of relationships, both failing and strengthening. And while I understand that the Royal Wedding was a big deal, not only because of the symbolism of a common girl becoming a princess, but also because it affects the life of a man who will one day become the King (figurehead though the position may now be) of one of the most influential countries on the earth, I do not see the need to spend the same amount of air time on the relationships of anyone with the last name Kardashian, It hurts my brain.

Pic From: http://ellohollywood.blogspot.com/2011/01/paparazzi.html

But over the years, many names have taken the same journey that Prince William and Princess Katherine are now on; that is, the journey of their private relationship in the public eye.

Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, Prince Charles and Princess Diana, Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor, Marilyn Monroe and Arthur Miller, King Henry VIII and... well, almost everyone, Troilus and Cressida, Hosea and Gomer, to name but a few. History is full of well-known relationships, real and fabled. And the best-known of these are the ones that ended in disaster. If I said, "Name the most famous couple in all of history," I think many people, if not an overwhelming majority would respond with the names Romeo and Juliet. And it didn't go so well for them now, did it?

But to put it in a less fictional perspective, why is it that so many famous couples end up as famous singles? Or maybe I should ask the question, why do so few relationships survive, when viewed in the public eye?

But then there's another question that needs to be asked first, isn't there? Do more relationships fail if they are closely followed by/invested in by the public than those conducted in the privacy of our lives? There are two responses to this, as I see it.

One) The same, or a similar number of relationships fail privately as do publicly. We just notice the public ones more because they're, you know, public.

Two) A larger number of public relationships fail than private ones.

If this second is true, then why? What's the variable? And of course the answer is simple. The variable is the public.

Think about the relationship you're in now, or the last relationship you were in. Was there ever any pressure? Expectations formed by your partner or yourself? By parents, friends? Of course there was, if there were no expectations, no one would try, and the whole thing would fall apart. Let's take it to the next level... How do you feel about PDA? Maybe you're a big fan. Maybe you, like John Legend, just don't care. Let the world see your love! Or, maybe even holding hands while walking down the street makes your palms sweaty (which kind of defeats the purpose). Now take it up another notch. You're out at a restaurant, and your mom shows up to take your picture with your date. It was annoying when you got picked up for prom, and it's annoying now, and bordering on harassment. Now imagine it's not your mom taking the picture. It's a stranger. And they won't stop, and they won't leave you alone. In fact, they're always there now, wherever you go. And there's more than one of them. It's a crowd. Professionals, yes, but also people who just happen to be in the same park, the same movie theatre, the same food court, using their camera phones to record every moment of your relationship. And they post them. And publish them. Now every frown is known internationally. Every argument heard through the wall inspires editorials on divorce and every shopping trip without your partner is seen as an affair. And if a tear is seen on your cheek... heaven forbid. Now your relationship, which started as private and became public, can only truly continue in private, and for a minimum of time. Anywhere else it becomes a mere facade, and though you still love each other, the faux-relationship you constantly show the public soon becomes all too real by the simple expedient of majority rules. And after we watch, no... invade this relationship from start to finish, cheering it on as it begins and then, like a self-fulfilling prophecy, gawking as our interest forces it onto a path of falsehood and destruction, we have the nerve to judge those that couldn't make it work.

Now, that's not to say that some celebrity relationships aren't just plain ridiculous. If you got married in Vegas and divorced in Reno the next day, you do not have my sympathy. You probably have a hangover. But my point is that sometimes... just sometimes... we forget that relationships can be hard work. And can be even harder when the whole world is watching. So, to follow my convoluted reasoning, if it's the watching that causes the pressure that causes these relationships to fail, then next time a celebrity couple calls it quits after we observe them into submission... maybe we shouldn't judge them. Maybe they should judge us.

Morning Hymn

2012-01-01T12:56:00.002+11:00

It is the start of a brand new day, figuratively speaking. The past year is gone, now just another date future generations with resent having to learn about in a history class. 2012 is the new 2011, full of promises to be kept and broken, ideas that for lack of ambition, support, or circumstance will never come to fruition and ideas that will spawn changes in technology, culture, and politics such that by the time we reach 2013, we won't even recognize ourselves or the world we live in.

Yes, it is well understood that, for better or for worse, the only thing constant is change. And so what changes are you expecting in this next year? What resolutions did you boldly make, having no intentions whatsoever of keeping them? Or perhaps you have the best intentions of all, which as we all know, are simply red hot paving stones...

As many of you will remember, a few years ago I made a New Year's Resolution; the only one I've ever kept throughout the entire year. That resolution was to read at least 100 books in the year. I read 106. I've kept that streak going and this past year I read even more. I will now furnish those of you who are interested with my reading list of 2011, and then we can analyze and discuss to our hearts content.

Pic From: http://therumpus.net/sections/books/

Jason's Reading List - 2011

1) Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell – Susanna Clarke

2) The Mousetrap and Other Plays – Agatha Christie

3) Invasion: A C.H.A.O.S. Novel – Jon S. Lewis

4) Her Fearful Symmetry – Audrey Niffenegger

5) Culture Smart! Australia: The Essential Guide toCustoms & Culture – Barry Penney

6) The Scorch Trials – James Dashner

7) Discarded Heroes #2: Digitalis – Ronie Kendig

8) Without Remorse – Tom Clancy

9) Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll

10) Through the Looking-Glass (And What Alice Found There)– Lewis Carroll

11) This Book Has Issues: Adventures in Popular Psychology– Christian Jarrett & Joannah Ginsburg

12) Shards of Honour – Lois McMaster Bujold

13) Book of Days – James L. Rupart

14) Barrayar – Lois McMaster Bujold

15) The Warrior’s Apprentice – Lois McMaster Bujold

16) The Vor Game – Lois McMaster Bujold

17) Cetaganda – Lois McMaster Bujold

18) Ethan of Athos – Lois McMaster Bujold

19) Labyrinth – Lois McMaster Bujold

20) Borders of Infinity – Lois McMaster Bujold

21) Brothers in Arms – Lois McMaster Bujold

22) Mirror Dance – Lois McMaster Bujold

23) Little Women/Good Wives – Louisa May Alcott

24) Memory – Lois McMaster Bujold

25) Komarr – Lois McMaster Bujold

26) A Civil Campaign – Lois McMaster Bujold

27) Diplomatic Immunity – Lois McMaster Bujold

28) I Want to Go Home – Gordon Korman

29) Who is Bugs Potter? – Gordon Korman

30) Beware the Fish – Gordon Korman

31) The War With Mr. Wizzle – Gordon Korman

32) Intervention – Teri Blackstock

33) This Present Darkness – Frank Peretti

34) This Can’t Be Happening at MacDonald Hall – GordonKorman

35) Go Jump in the Pool – Gordon Korman

36) The Zucchini Warriors – Gordon Korman

37) MacDonald Hall Goes Hollywood – Gordon Korman

38) Something Fishy at MacDonald Hall – Gordon Korman

39) The Twinkie Squad – Gordon Korman

40) A Semester in the Life of a Garbage Bag – Gordon Korman

41) The Toilet Paper Tigers – Gordon Korman

42) Schooled – Gordon Korman

43) The Juvie Three – Gordon Korman

44) Son of Interflux – Gordon Korman

45) Piercing the Darkness – Frank Peretti

46) Losing Joe’s Place – Gordon Korman

47) The Alarmists – Don Hoesel

48) Catch 22 – Joseph Heller

49) No Coins Please – Gordon Korman

50) Bitter End – Rex Stout

51) Frame-Up for Murder – Rex Stout

52) Assault on a Brownstone – Rex Stout

53) Treasure Island – Robert Louis Stevenson

54) Nick of Time – Tim Downs

55) Dreaming the Serpent Spear – Manda Scott

56) To Be Perfectly Honest – Phil Callaway

57) Don’t Care High – Gordon Korman

58) Spartan Gold – Clive Cussler

59) The Execution of Sherlock Holmes – Donald Thomas

60) I Am the Messenger – Markus Zusak

61) New Methodology for Probing Catalytic Reactions byESI-MS – Dr. Krista Vikse

62) Area 7 – Matthew Reilly

63) Atlantis Found – Clive Cussler

64) Murder in Mesopotamia – Agatha Christie

65) The Constantine Codex – Paul L. Maier

66) The Puppet Master – Jan Coffey

67) The Regatta Mystery and Other Stories – Agatha Christie

68) Medusa – Clive Cussler

69) The Three Investigators: The Mystery of the StutteringParrot – Robert Arthur

70) Ragtime – E. L. Doctorow

71) The Navigator – Clive Cussler

72) Inca Gold – Clive Cussler

73) Pacific Vortex – Clive Cussler

74) Vigilante – Robin Parrish

75) Shock Wave – Clive Cussler

76) Towers of Midnight – Robert Jordan & BrandonSanderson

77) Dragon – Clive Cussler

78) Blue Gold – Clive Cussler

79) The Charlatan’s Boy – Jonathan Rogers

80) The Secret Adversary – Agatha Christie

81) Death Comes as the End – Agatha Christie

82) Too Many Murders – Colleen McCullough

83) The Heroes of Olympus: The Lost Hero – Rick Riordan

84) The 39 Clues: Into the Gauntlet – Margaret PetersonHaddix

85) The 39 Clues: Vespers Rising – Rick Riordan, PeterLerangis, Gordan Korman, Jude Watson

86) The Complete Adventures of Tintin – Hergé

87) Little Vampire Women – Louisa May Alcott & LynnMessina

88) Persuasion – Jane Austen

89) Badlands – Richard Montanari

90) Deviant Way – Richard Montanari

91) The Complete Asterix – R. Goscinny & A. Uderzo

92) The Hobbit – J.R.R. Tolkein

93) The Hunger Games – Suzanne Collins

94) Hell Island – Matthew Reilly

95) Scarecrow – Matthew Reilly

96) Catching Fire – Suzanne Collins

97) Ice Station – Matthew Reilly

98) The Liar – Stephen Fry

99) Artemis Fowl – Eoin Colfer

100) Mansfield Park – Jane Austen

101) Mockingjay – Suzanne Collins

102) Temple – Matthew Reilly

103) The Handmaid’s Tale – Margaret Atwood

104) Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy – John le Carré

105) The Case of the Mischievous Doll – Erle Stanley Gardner

106) The Case of the Careless Cupid – Erle Stanley Gardner

107) Hercule Poirot: The Complete Short Stories – AgathaChristie

108) The Seven Ancient Wonders – Matthew Reilly

109) The Six Sacred Stones – Matthew Reilly

110) The Five Greatest Warriors – Matthew Reilly

111) Brideshead Revisited – Evelyn Waugh

112) Contest – Matthew Reilly

113) Scarecrow and the Army of Thieves – Matthew Reilly

114) Slaughterhouse 5 – Kurt Vonnegut

115) By the Pricking of My Thumbs – Agatha Christie

116) Emma – Jane Austen

117) 4:50 From Paddington – Agatha Christie

118) Death on the Nile – Agatha Christie

119) Northanger Abbey – Jane Austen

120) One, Two, Buckle My Shoe – Agatha Christie

121) Lucky You – Carl Hiaasen

122) The Kane Chronicles: Book I: The Red Pyramid – RickRiordan

123) The Kane Chronicles: Book II: The Throne of Fire – RickRiordan

124) The Catcher in the Rye – J.D. Salinger

125) The Final Solution – Michael Chabon

126) 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea – Jules Verne

127) The Slap – Christopher Tsiolkas

Golly! 127! To break it down for you, the last 34 of these were read in Australia. I finished the last book on December 30, 2011. Now, let's get technical.

This was a year for series'. I read the entire Miles Vorkosigan Saga for some wonderful science fiction. if you're ever in need of some wonderfully character-driven sci-fi, please enjoy this series. Each book is written in a different genre, with one being an war-based action story, another being a who-dun-it, another a political thriller, and of course every space opera's necessity, the love story.

I also spent much of my literary year trying to reclaim my childhood, apparently. This was the year I reread all of Gordon Korman's books (a Canadian author who defined youth literacy for me, as well as for many people my age), and the entire collections of Tintin and Asterix books (don't worry, I only count each of those two series' as one book.) Also on this list was The Hunger Games trilogy, by Suzanne Collins. A brilliant read, one I would highly recommend.

It was also a year for adventure! I read almost every book by Matthew Reilly, who is a fantastically adrenaline-rushing writer. Fans of Clive Cussler and Tom Clancy who want a break from storyline and an increase in absolutely entertaining, non-stop action will love his books. Also, a fair number of Clive Cussler's made their way onto the list this year, courtesy of a library book-sale earlier in the year.

I also took a little time to read a few non-fiction books this year; four, in fact. But my favourite, by far, was one by an author named Krista Vikse. PhD, who became a doctor this year based on the thesis I read. Brilliant work, and completely over my head, I assure you.

And of course, no year of mine would be complete without a healthy showing from Dame Agatha Christie. This year boasts no less than 10 of her works, some of which were collections of stories and plays, including the entire Hercule Poirot short story collection, and a reading of that play of plays, The Mousetrap.

And last, but not least, the classics. Perhaps you recall, I have a tradition of reading one piece of classic literature every Christmas. In the past these have included The Idiot, Little Women, War & Peace, A Christmas Carol, Little Men, and Strange Case of Doctor Jekyll & Mr. Hyde. This year it was 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. Joining it on the full list are Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, Through the Looking-Glass (And What Alice Found There), Treasure Island, Persuasion, Mansfield Park, Emma, and Northanger Abbey. Also, though not classics, the fundamentals of modern western literature found a home on my list this year: Catch 22, Ragtime, The Handmaid's Tale, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, Brideshead Revisited, Slaughterhouse 5, and The Catcher in the Rye representing.

But one of the most satisfying things about my list this year is that I finally finished the Jane Austen library, having now read all six of her books. Some of them are brilliant (Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, Emma), some of very good indeed (Persuasion, Northanger Abbey), and one is simply awful, (Mansfield Park). (I should note, I disliked the book not because of the writing, but because of the main character, who's weakness drives the plot and leaves you unsatisfied with the happy ending and her undeserving of the happy ending.)

So, with this one classic conclusion behind me, this next year I have decided to finish another author's works. Perhaps you've heard of him before. William Shakespeare? I have read, to date, 13 of his 38 plays. This is the year I read the remaining 25.

So let it begin anew, this ebb and flow of knowledge, once doomed to remain trapped in the pages of a book until freed to roam the mind of the reader, leaving behind its imprint on imagination, shaping the reality of the seen world, and passing on the knowledge of generations past into the excited hands of the future.

Happy New Year!

Climb Ev'ry Mountain

2011-12-30T20:45:00.001+11:00

I have decided that for this, my last blog of the year 2011, I will do something a little bit different again. Photos. Oh, I know, I've done blogs with up to five pics before, but this time will be a little more... inundated. But hopefully still be interesting. So here goes...

One of the things that Krista and I talked about when we choose to pack up and move to Australia was life experiences. Neither of us is the type to go in for that sky-diving, thrill-seeker nonsense, but we do want to see more of the world than suburban Canada has to offer. So we chose to strike a balance. A balance between doing so much that you spend your life paying it off (which is foolish), and being so financially tight-wound that you reach your 50s with no debt and then realize that you've done nothing in those 50 years (which is also foolish). Instead, we thought, why don't we just live so that we don't need to have a bucket list at the end? Having said that, we have no plans to backpack across Europe, which is fine for some but seems to me a horribly exhausting way to see the world, or plans to spend 3 years sitting on a mountaintop in Tibet, thinking about world peace and worrying about the Chinese, or plans to journey to the centre of the earth, travel 20,000 leagues under the sea, or fly around the world in 80 days. But we also don't want to sit at home for two years and not see the country we're in. So we took a little trip on the 28th, and did a tour of the Great Ocean Road.

Map From: www.australia-trips.info/Destinations/Vic/Great_Ocean_Road_Victoria_Australia/Great-Ocean-Road.html

The Great Ocean Road is a great big road along the ocean. I know, you would never have figured it out if I hadn't said anything. It has some phenomenal scenery, beautiful bays, rock formations, beaches, forests, and lots more. If you look at the map, you can follow our progress, we started in Melbourne, drove through Geelong along the coast all the way to Port Campbell, stopping here and there for photo-ops, turning inland a few times, and catching more scenery than you can shake a stick at. Here's our play-by-play (edited for length) of the trip:

We got up at 5:30, got ready and took the train into the city, were we got on the tour bus (yup, we took a tour bus, which turned out to be great. Our driver was hilarious and we chatted with everyone on board). It was a 24-seater, which was nice, because the worst tours are the big coach buses where you never talk to anyone or get to know anyone throughout the day. With only 20-some-odd people, we were all best friends by the end. Let me give you the table of contents of our vehicle: There were two young men from Sweden, two young ladies from the UK, an Italian-speaker from Switzerland, a dating couple from Germany, another couple from Russian, a married couple from India, a girl from the Philippines, a girl from Singapore, a Chinese-Canadian, a fellow from Italy, a fellow from India, and two girls from Mauritius. And of course, our Australian driver and us. Quite a collection! The bus had a mic hanging from the ceiling and we all had to go around, introduce ourselves and say what we did and what we were looking forward to most on the trip. Most everyone wanted to see kangaroos, and not just the roadkill one that had trashed a car on the way out of Melbourne.

So off we went. We got out of the city faster than the driver expected, due to light holiday traffic, so to make us all happy he pulled us off the regular tour route and took us to kangaroo and emu habitat reserve not far away, where we got to see some of those animals bouncing around. (Which was a bonus for us, since we had seen them in the zoo, but there had been no bouncing. And without bouncing, a kangaroo is just a large thing on the ground, isn't it?) Unfortunately we forgot our camera in the bus, so you'll just have to imagine them. Then we got back on track and headed out to Bells Beach, which is a world renowned surfing spot, and has hosted the Rip Curl Pro Surf and Music Festival for the last 50 years. If you've seen the movie Point Break you will be familiar with this particular beach.

The long and winding road.

Bells Beach.

Beautiful fine sand. It got everywhere.

A windy day at Bells Beach

A peek through at some breakers on the coast.

Just your average Christmas family photo.

As we drove along our driver regaled us with stories and pertinent information. He pointed out the shark-proof swimming enclosure at Geelong, (built in the ocean at the end of a pier so you can swim in the bay safely) and the golf course where hitting a lazy kangaroo that is sunning itself on the course was so common it was considered a hazard, and cost you a stroke.

The next stop on our trip was a large area of Eucalyptus trees, in a country area outside of Torquay. This was a popular stop because one could often find wild koalas munching on leaves in the high branches. And so we did.

Nap time.

If you look closely, you'll see baby too!

I'm not a bear! I'm a marsupial!

As we continued on our driver played appropriate music for us. One song listed all the poisonous animals one can find on a trip just like this. The lyrics were, and I quote "Come to Australia! You might accidentally get killed."

Heartwarming.

Then it was off to trek through the old-growth rain forest, home of the carnivorous Black snail. There were some huge trees and ferns. It was very like tramping through the Redwood forests in the Northwest, but with different species all around.

A fine specimen of the tallest flowering tree in the world.

Another tall tree.

Funky stumps. This one grew around a fallen log and ate it, thus the giant hole in the middle.

We stopped for lunch in Apollo Bay. I had shark. It was delicious. Then on to the Shipwreck Coast for some rock formations and some more beaches.

Me, getting some sun.

Another view of the Shakers.

This formation is called the Salt and Pepper Shakers.

This formation is called the Razorback.

According to legend, two shipwreck survivors lived in this cave until help found them.

This was a very popular beach, and I'm sure you can see why. Beautiful.

Isn't she sweet? I will keep her.

Then, we went to see the Twelve Apostles. These are 12 large rock formations, only 8 of which now remain, due to erosion. We decided to splurge for a new experience and instead of just looking at them from the viewing platforms we chose another venue...

Oh look, it's our venue coming to pick us up!

Yup, we took a short helicopter ride out over the coast! What an incredible view, and what a cool experience! I have to say, if you haven't done it, do it. I'd buy one.

Happy as a Jaybird (but the pilot didn't let me touch any of the buttons!)

Ladies and Gentlemen, if you'll look to your right, left, forward, back, up, and down, you will see the Southern Ocean.

The only way to travel. Note the size of the waves on the coastline. All the way up to the top.

More Aussie coastline. We were at a low altitude of about 800 ft, according to the altimeter on my instrument panel.

This is Seahorse Island, coming up on the Twelve Apostles (See the first two formations to the right).

More Apostles.


Coming in for a landing. There's little-to-no sensation of flying in a helicopter, I found. Certainly not like taking off in a plane. Even when you bank so you're parallel to the ground or water, it's just business as usual.

Touchdown!

Krista getting ready for her flight. We were planning on flying together, but they needed singles to fill other flights, so we volunteered, because if you are the volunteer single you are guaranteed the front seat, with more than a 180 degree view, instead of the small window in the back! Worth it, and we compared notes afterwards.

Krista taking off (her chopper was yellow, mine was red. I don't know why I'm telling you that.)

This is the view of the Apostles that everyone else got. We got it too, but loved our rides in the sky!


Krista with her feet firmly planted on the ground.

The last stop on our little road-trip was London Bridge. And before you ask, yes, it is falling down. In fact, there's kind of a funny story behind that. In 1990, two people had just crossed the first archway and were starting onto the second when the first crumbled behind them, leaving them stranded. They were rescued by helicopter and refused to talk to the press about the event. It's said that the fellow had called in sick from work that morning to head off to the location with his lady. A fact that his boss was not pleased to find out on the evening news. Nor was the fellow's wife, who was not the girl accompanying him on his little excursion. Oops! Nature... it'll getcha!

Due to the erosion around rock formations like London Bridge and the Twelve Apostles, this is as close as tourists are now allowed to get.

The bay at London Bridge. At night, this beach is swarming with Little Penguins (yup, that's their name!) We could see their tracks in the sand, but they were all out to sea fishing at this time of day.

These are trees. But we thought they looked like a vegetable version of Uluru (Ayer's Rock). If in black and white, we think we could have fooled you. We believe this is similar to how they faked the moon landing.

So, finally, after a full day, we drove back home, got into the city at about 9:45 and caught the train home. Tired and sunburned, we were more than pleased with our day: travel the Great Ocean Road? See the Twelve Apostles? See koalas and kangaroos in nature? Fly in a helicopter? Eat shark? Dip your toes in the Southern (Antarctic) Ocean?

Check.

So Long, Farewell

2011-12-20T16:09:00.001+11:00

Retail can be boring. The same products, the same customers, the same everything, day in andday out. I worked in an unchangingretail environment for over 8 years and did my best to spice up the days of myco-workers and customers with various contests, events, theme days, etc. Those of you who worked with me can attest tothe ridiculous levels of entertainment to which we sank (anyone remember “WhoCan Draw the Best Frog” Day? Or “Who CanMake the Best Paper Sculpture” Day? Pictures of me in a burgundy choir robe or dressed up like Larry theCucumber? “Guess This Tune” whistlingcontests and staff poetry readings?) None of them were to the detriment of the customer, in fact, some of thebest times included the customer. Ispeak of course of the famous Vikse Christmas Surveys.

For a few years running, the last week before Christmaswould see me and other participating staff asking one simple question of everycustomer that came to the register. Thecustomers enjoyed answering and finding out where their answers ranked in thelist, they would even start preparing a story or joke to go along with it,answering the question before it was asked if they were waiting in line. One year the question was “What do you add toyour eggnog?” (Unsurprisingly, rum was thenumber one answer, followed by Coke, nutmeg, Sprite, milk, etc.). Another year it was “What’s your favouriteChristmas carol?” (Silent Night was the run-away winner. Nothing else even came close to competing).

But these queries are the pulled-punches of the ChristmasQuestionnaire. So this year I’ll beusing my blog to attack one of the most politically-touchy Christmas topics:

Taking the Christ out of Christmas.

Pic From: http://mormonmatters.org/2008/12/23/whos-winning-the-war-on-christmas/

Now as most, if not all of you know, I am aChristian. However, out of respect formy non-religious readers, I am going to try to approach this topic asnon-religiously as possible, and with a certain amount of common sense.

So, the question lies before us... should we take theChrist out of Christmas? First, what doI mean? I mean should we ban nativityscenes in public places? Should we sayHappy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas? Should we trade in Away in aManger for Jingle Bells?

As far as I know, and I can only write from my ownexperience, the reason people give for wanting to de-Christianize Christmas isso that non-religious people and people who follow other religions are notoffended by being surrounded by what they do not believe. (Please correct me if I’m wrong). This makes sense to me. I don’t like being offended either. However, I believe that this is a slipperyslope. If we ban all public reference tobeliefs we don’t hold, then all idea-oriented aspects of life will have to becontrolled. Public Zen gardens wouldhave to be closed. Public politicalrallies that espouse beliefs that differ from another’s beliefs would have tobe disbanded. I mean, I don’t believe inSanta, does that mean all public images of him have to come down, and all songswith his name in them have to stop being played? Of course not. Ridiculous.

The very ideas of freedom of speech, thought, and beliefare inherent in our idea of human rights. Now I know what you’re thinking... “But Jason, people can still believewhat they like in their own homes. Theycan celebrate however they like, say whatever they like, believe in whateverthey like. They just can’t act on it inpublic.” But that’s not freedom. Driving one’s beliefs underground is not, byany standards I hold, the mark of freedom, tolerance, or human rights. That’s oppression. That’s intolerance.

Now, again, I’m not speaking defensively. I’m only suggesting that one standard be usedfor all, if equality and tolerance is what is being aimed for. If the majority believes that public lifeshould be inoffensive, then vast censorship of all religions, all ideologies,all beliefs is the logical conclusion. If that is not the wish of themajority, then why call for censorship at all?

I would argue that it is not the wish of the majority,but only of the vocal minority. I knowmany people of other faiths, or of no religion at all that have no problem withhearing someone sing Joy to the world,the Lord is come at Christmas. Infact, it may not seem like Christmas without it. So here’s the question, if itisn’t hurting anyone, why all the fuss?

Another common aspect of this question is that of thesymbology. Many would argue that sincemany of the symbols we use at Christmas were adopted from other traditions,they have no need to be connected to Christmasat all. As to the question of whether certainChristmas symbols ever had any religious significance, my response is... whocares? So the Christmas tree was used incelebrations before Christmas came around. So now some people are wanting to call them Trees of Illumination. But I grew up with a Christmas tree, and that’swhat I want to see decorated in the square downtown. Like with any symbol, we’ve attachedsignificance to it, and its value is found in that, not in what it originally wasused for. Play Doh was originally usedas wallpaper cleaner, that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun using it as a toy. No one wants to build dinosaurs withwallpaper cleaner, and I don’t particularly want to decorate my Tree ofIllumination with popcorn strings and home-made ornaments.

So my response to the question of Taking Christ out ofChristmas is this: why bother? Even forthose who do not attach religious significance to the holiday or to the symbolsthat make it up, family traditions like reading the Christmas story, attendinga Christmas Eve service or mass, or setting up a small nativity set next to yourstockings are incredibly important to who we are as people and as a society. Our traditions shape who we are, and ourbeliefs shape our traditions. The hangingof a star from a Christmas tree in a park or the singing of O Holy Night in a public concert are notsomething that a truly free country can ban with impunity. Our democratic system expounds that the libertythat we have as humans and the rights that are, according to perhaps the most famousdeclaration of freedom, unalienable and self-evident give people the freedom toexpress their beliefs in public. As asociety, we have therefore decided that it is never the duty of anyone not tospeak. Instead, it is the responsibilityof those who don’t wish to see or hear things to simply not look or listen.

Therefore, while I do not intend to offend anyone byspeaking, I will certainly not allow myself to be offended by staying silent.

And so, to quote a classically-Christmas character who isbased on a truly historical person, who requires a great deal of belief, and whois, for better or for worse, an integral part of the western Christmascelebration...

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

The Lonely Goatherd

2011-12-15T19:43:00.001+11:00

Note: There is an epilogue to this post (or would it becalled an epi-blog?) that is more of an update on our lives here, but to start,please enjoy Blog Number Ten in The Sound of Music Series.

For those of you who have been following the series, I’msure you’ve narrowed down the list of songs left. By my count, I have five to go, not includingthis one. Who can say what’s next? Five Jason Points if you guess it correctly.

Show of hands. Who’sfamiliar with TED? Nope, notTurner. Not Roosevelt. Not even Ruxpin. Talks. TED Talks. For those of you whoaren’t, allow me to explain. TED Talksare talks, usually about twenty minutes long, giving by experts in variousfields. They can be inspiring,informative, hilarious, jaw-dropping, and the list goes on. In fact, those descriptors are how they’redivided on the official TED website (www.ted.com). In any case, I urge you to check it out ifyou never have; you’re sure to find something interesting.

The reason I bring it up is because today’s blog is basedon one of the videos. (I’m not going to providethe link here, but it won’t be hard to find if you want to watch it.) The video I’m talking about is a talk givenby Mike Rowe. Many of you may know himas the host of the Discovery Channel’s show DirtyJobs, which is a wonderful show, if you ever get the chance to see it. I’ll break it down for you if you haven’t... “Dirty Jobs profiles the unsung Americanlaborers who make their living in the most unthinkable – yet vital – ways. Our brave host and apprentice Mike Roweintroduces you to a hardworking group of men and women who overcome fear,danger and sometimes stench and overall ickiness to accomplish their dailytasks.” (Description taken from the DirtyJobs Official Website)

So, Mike Rowe is giving a talk on the jobs people have todo vs. the jobs people want to do, and his general conclusion is this: honouris found in doing what needs to be done. He argues against the idea of “following your dreams” or “doing what youlove,” suggesting that the cultural push towards refusing to do work that youfeel is “beneath you” has resulted in a society that puts personal enjoymentbefore the necessities of life.

So what do you think? As I’m sure many of you were, I was taught that the way to have theperfect job is to “find something you love doing, and then figure out a way toget paid for doing it.” Sounds good,right? But when taken to its logicalconclusion, isn’t this just a philosophy that will result in a world where noone wants to empty the trash bins on our streets? Or where no one wants to unclog thetoilet? Or where no one wants to minetar or coal, tan leather, work in the steel mills or on a crab boat?

I can hear you now. You’re thinking... “But Jason, we have people to do all thosethings. We call them high schooldrop-outs.” But if there’s one thingthat Mike’s show teaches, it’s that though some of the dirty jobs in the worldare mind-numbingly boring and simple, just as many require skilled labour. Highlyskilled labour. Labour far more skilledthan that of your average cubicle worker.

So why do we look down on the trades? In my lifespan (yes, I know, it isn’t thatlong) I’ve noticed at least three different attitudes towards those who do thejobs we don’t want to do.

1) He’sjust a [insert job title here]? Couldn’t he have gone to school and got areal job? He can’t really be happy doingthat, can he?

2) Shegets paid how much? Just for being a [insert job title here]! Ridiculous. And I can’t get a raise. Theworld isn’t fair!

3) Well,I’m glad it’s him, and not me.

It’s funny, you’d think we’d be more appreciative ofthose who do our dirty work for us, but instead we tend to view them with derision,jealousy, contempt, dismissiveness... the list goes on. So why don’t we honour them?

I would suggest that the answer is guilt. Every dirty-job-doer is someone who gave uptheir dream of becoming a... take your pick: astronaut, model, millionaire/philanthropist/playboy. They’re doing what needs to be done. Holding greater necessity over personalpreference. It’s almost heroic.

Unfortunately, there are only two ways to resolve ourcollective guilty consciences. Either wecan all become dirty-job-doers (in which case, who would Perez Hilton reporton?!), OR we can stop ignoring/dismissing those who do what we don’t want todo, and instead find a way to show gratitude. I suggest what’s behind door number two.

This can be done on a variety of levels. One, it requires a change in the way we thinkabout the dirty jobs in our society, or more specifically, the way we thinkabout those who do them. It can also bedone on a more individual level. Trythis on for size: the next time you get a bill from your plumber, instead ofcursing the price, be thankful that you didn’t have to wade around in your ownseptic tank, looking for that little leak. And maybe give him a plate of cookies. He’s earned it.

All this being said, is it a terrible thing to do whatyou love and love what you do? Not atall. But just like your mom taught youwhen you were growing up, sometimes you have to do things you don’t want todo. And there is honour in doing itwell.

After all, no one grows up wanting to be the lonelygoatherd.

So here’s to a world full of garbage men, janitors, andshort-order chefs. Thanks for doing thejobs no one else wants to do. And if Iever look down on you again, you can remind me that I graduated with Honours,earned my Degree, married a Doctor... and am currently unemployed.

Touché.

Pic From: www.mitash.com/11-online-tools-to-help-optimise-your-website/

And now for something completely different. A little catch-up on our lives here. But before we begin, I want to thank those ofyou who went out on a limb and commented on my last blog. Without you, it wouldn’t be the same. As for the rest of you... for shame... (But there’s still time!).

So, it is mid-December now. We’re experiencing a cold spell here, withtemperatures all the way down to the high twenties. Tomorrow they’re calling for 29°C. I’m pulling my parka out of storage for thisone, folks.

But honestly, this is certainly the strangest Christmas I’veever had. Many of you have lived in theSouthern Hemisphere during the holidays, and I’m betting more of you havevacationed, but for me it’s just not the same without snow. You know you’re in Australia when you rush tothe mall to escape from the heat just in time to hear Bing croon about hisdreams of a White Christmas. And it’snot even summer yet!

We were reminded that it was still spring while on a walkthrough our neighbourhood park recently.

Note the cuteness of the ducklings. It was a very spring moment.

A few days later we were in the same park again, only itwas crowded with people. Carols in Queens Park was in fullswing! We took a tour through the parkto people-watch and saw the craft tent, the face-painting, the balloon animals,the giant Candy Cane on stilts, and listened to the adorably off-key primaryschool choir sing about how there was no room at the inn. Families had been sitting and waiting for thestart of the concert for hours, the children running around finding sugar tochew on, the mothers talking in huddled therapy sessions, the fathers plantedfirmly on their family’s blankets, growling at any other lawn chairs that gottoo close to their chosen spot.

Note the families all bundled up in their thickjackets. It was a very winter moment.

All this to say... it doesn’t feel like Christmas hereyet, unless we wait until after dark and turn on the Christmas tree lights, andturn on the Christmas carols...

And turn on the air conditioning.

Something Good

2011-12-08T15:52:00.001+11:00

Oh dear. Another open-ended blog title. Just moments ago I sat at my laptop and thought to myself, "I could write on anything with this title. What can I choose that would be unique, different, and out of the ordinary?" And then it came to me. The best way to uniquely write a blog that could be about anything was to not write a blog that could be about anything at all. Confused yet? Well, let me introduce what you're reading with more clarity then...

This is it! The blog you've all been waiting for! Well, maybe not, but it's certainly the blog I've been waiting for! Because for the first time, I'm not responsible for the content of this blog.

You are.

Allow me to explain...

I Googled the phrase, "What is something good to..." I took 50 of the suggested searches and have put them on this blog. Instead of answering the questions myself, which I did in the recent post, My Favourite Things, I want you to answer it. Yes, you. The person who's reading this and loves to comment. The person who's reading this and not planning on participating. The person who found this blog by accident and isn't a regular reader. You especially. Here's your challenge: Choose as many of the questions as you like and answer them in the comment section. I will then add your answer to the blog posting itself, and we'll see what kind of people read this blog. Yes? Yes.

Pic From: http://culturegeek.com/2011/07/06/participator-museum-audiences/

A note. You can be honest, or not. You can be funny, or not. You can be sage, cynical, silly, or satirical. Hopefully you'll all participate even a little bit, and we'll get multiple answers for each question!

So here goes, and as the old knight said... choose wisely...

1) What is something good to eat? Chocolate (RD) (HV) (BG), Potato (JL), Steak (RV) (medium well) (PH), Tootsie Rolls (SH), Swiss Chalet Sauce (even just the powder) (JH), Salads with a mix of sweet and savoury (which I know you don't usually mix, Jason!) (BG)
2) What is something good to invest in? Gold (RD), Clothes (JL), Children (HV), Family (RV), Sleep (SH), Swiss Chalet Restaurants near me (JH), Real Estate (especially in Victoria!) (PH), Friends (BG)
3) What is something good to write about? Yourself (RD), How happy one is (JL), Something funny (HV), Holidays (RV), Memories (SH), Jason's life (JH), Personal experiences (PH)
4) What is something good to ask for Christmas? Peace (RD), Health (JL), A game (HV), Peace on Earth (RV), A pig (SH), A pig-resistant house (JH), A goat or chicken for a family in Africa (PH), "5 Golden Rings!" (BG)
5) What is something good to talk about? Religion and Politics (RD), Travel (JL), How much I hate Swiss Chalet (SH), S#@ baby, You and Me (JH), Jason and Krista's adventures Down Under!! (PH)
6) What is something good to buy? Shoes (RD), Food (JL), Mini Cooper (RV), Curtains (SH), Canucks paraphernalia (JH), Chocolate (can't make it yourself and it tastes mighty good!) (PH)
7) What is something good to bake? Chocolate Chip Cookies (RD) (JL) (HV), Apple Pie (RV), Bran muffins (SH), Beans (JH), Butter tarts (my mom's recipe) (PH), Banana Chocolate Chip Coffee Muffins - made with butter NOT margarine (BG)
8) What is something good to bet? Nothing (RD), Five dollars (JL), Money (RV), Your pride (SH), Your face (JH), My sister (PH)
9) What is something good to blog about? Good things (RD), Life (JL), Yourself (RV), Politics (SH), Haven't found an answer yet (JH), See number 5 (PH)
10) What is something good to collect that will increase in value? Coins (RD) (SH), Tea Cups (JL), Rifles (JH), Jason Vikse Showbills!! (PH), Postage stamps (BG)
11) What is something good to draw? Flowers (RD), Bunny (JL), People (RV), Dragons (SH), Trogdor (JH) Butterflies (PH)
12) What is something good to drink? Milk (RD), Coffee (JL), Hot Chocolate (HV), Timmy-H Iced Cap. (RV) (PH), Eggnog (SH), Swiss Cha... you know (JH), Chai Latte (BG)
13) What is something good to do on the internet? Shop (RD), Read Jason's Blog (JL) (HV), Skype (RV), Pinterest (SH), Play Backgammon (JH), Find answers to obscure questions like "What is something good to do on the internet?" (PH)
14) What is something good to give up for Lent? As little as possible (RD), Lent (RV), TV (SH), Now is Lent even Biblical? Debate amongst yourselves (JH), Sweets (PH)
15) What is something good to get your boyfriend for Christmas? A kiss (RD), I would like a boyfriend for Christmas (JL), Not a watch (SH), I have not, and never will ask myself this question (JH), A cooking class - worked for his b-day, will work for the HO HO season (PH)
16) What is something good to major in? Really, people are asking Google what to major in? Something int the Humanities, you know, useful for real life :p (RD), Communication (JL), Major in Shopping, Minor in Lunch (RV), It would be helpful to major in appliance repair, then, if your refrigerator ever broke, you could fix it yourself (SH), Computing Science has kept me gainfully employed for almost 30 years! (PH)
17) What is something good to know? Your Social Security Number (RD), Health Care Number (JL), That people love you (HV), Your shoe size (RV), Directions home (SH), Which way is North (JH), Who your friends are (PH)
18) What is something good to look up on Youtube? Alex Day Reads Twilight (RD), Tom Hanks parody of Toddlers and Tiaras (JL), The Muppets (RV), Brian Regan (SH), "Charlie Bit Me" (JH), Straight, No Chaser (PH)
19) What is something good to make with ground beef? Spaghetti (RD), Lasagna (JL) (RV), Taco Salad (HV), Tacos (SH), You can add things to ground beef? Isn't it a meal in itself? (JH), Burgers with cheese, pickles, mayo and mustard (PH), Shipwreck (seriously, that's what it's called - all sorts of things layered together including potatoes, rice, corn, carrots, onion...) (BG)
20) What is something good to snack on? Peanuts (RD), Hawkins Cheezies (JL) (PH), Popcorn (HV), Cheeze Nips (RV), Nibs (SH), Pretzels (although they do make one thirsty!) (JH), Almonds (BG)
21) What is something good to post on Facebook? Pictures of your baby (RD), Photo`s of my life story (JL), Wedding photos (SH), What is this Facebook? (JH), Nothing, unless you want the whole world to know about it (PH)
22) What is something good to put in a birthday card? Money (RD) (RV), "Happy Birthday!" (JL), Your name (HV), Confetti (SH), Ask not what to put in a birthday card, but what you can put a birthday card in = Envelope (JH), Lottery Ticket (PH)
23) What is something good to read about? History (RD) (JL), Good news (HV), Memoirs (SH), How to Win Friends and Influence People (JH), See Number 5 (PH)
24) What is something good to sell? Your old stuff (RD), Electronics (JL), Rocks (HV), Junk (RV), Not your soul, that's for sure (SH), Storage lockers (JH), Stuff you have that you'll never use again - bett that someone makes use of it (PH)
25) What is something good to say to a girl? "Hello" (RD), "Love the shoes!" (JL), "You are pretty." (HV), "I'm sorry, I was wrong." (RV), "Coffee?" (SH), "Have you seen my wife?" (JH), "Do you have a brother?" (PH)
26) What is something good to tweet? Anything but what your bowel movements are like (RD), Your day (JL), I don't do that (SH), Does the Twitter Bird have an account? (JH), Tit-willow, tit-willow, tit-willow! (Never tweeted, don't get it!) (PH)
27) What is something good to tell someone? Your name (RD), How much you appreciate them in your life (JL), Why they are special to you (HV), "Your fly is down" (SH), "Canucks rock" (JH), "I LOVE YOU!" (PH)
28) What is something good to talk about when texting? Where to meet so you can talk in person (RD), Making plans to see each other (JL), Sore thumbs (SH), Anything that doesn't involve abbreviations (JH), What you really want to say to the person! Don't text for the sake of hitting keys and looking busy! (PH)
29) What is something good to watch? The Daily Show and The Colbert Report (RD), The Big Bang Theory (JL), The sunset (in real life... not a movie) (HV), Hockey (RV), Sarah's House (SH), World Series of Backgammon or Seinfeld (JH), Suburgatory (PH), Figure Skating Competitions (BG)
30) What is something good to write a song about? Love (RD) (JL), Anything, really (SH), Worship (JH), Something that rhymes with Christmas (PH)
31) What is something good to lend? Your umbrella (RD), An ear (JL) (PH), A helping hand (RV) (PH), A spatula (SH), A cup of sugar (JH)
32) What is something good to argue about? Where to go for dinner (RD), Pop culture (JL), Politics (RV), Christmas plans (SH), 19.5 or 20 degrees (JH), Arguing shouldn't be required. Settle it in a polite conversation (PH)
33) What is something good to ask? "What am I doing here?" (RD), "How are you?" (JL), For directions (HV), For forgiveness (RV), For help (SH), "What can I do better?" (JH), "Are you OK?" (PH)
34) What is something good to bring to a potluck? Homemade mac and cheese (RD), Pita and hummus (JL), Chili (RV), Potatoes (SH), An empty stomach (JH), Something with protein to compensate for those who bring buns, butter, soft drinks and other products that require no preparation (PH), Willingness to try new things - actually it's a lot of fun most times! (BG)
35) What is something good to BBQ? Pork tenderloin (RD), Hamburgers (JL), Chicken (HV), Steak (RV), Potatoes (SH), Asparagus (be prepared for some casualties) (JH), Filet tips, if you've never had them, you'll never know! (PH)
36) What is something good to be for Halloween? Static cling (RD), A superhero (JL), Warm (HV), Away (RV), The Settlers of Catan (SH), Vince with Slap-Chop (JH), A 'Ho (PH)
37) What is something good to chew on? Gum (RD) (JL), An idea (HV) (PH), A toothpick (SH), Tootsie Rolls (and pretend it's tobacco) (JH), A thought (PH)
38) What is something good to fall asleep to? Silence (RD) (PH), Rain (JL) (RV), Not snoring (SH), Bagpipes (all kidding aside) (JH)
39) What is something good to hear? Your baby cry the first time (RD), How much you're appreciated (JL), Laughter (HV) (PH), A crackling fire (RV), "Good job" (SH), Your name (JH), "Job well done!" (BG)
40) What is something good to have happen to you? Win the lottery (RD), Love (JL), Get a back-scratch (HV), Door-prizes (SH), Incredible friends (JH), Friends and their conversations (PH)
41) What is something good to get at Starbucks? Orange Mocha Frapiccino (RD), Eggnog Latte - no foam, low fat (JL), Caramel Machiatto (HV) (SH), Mocha Frapiccino (RV), Water (JH), Decaf White Chocolate Mocha, extra hot (PH), Skinny Peppermint Latte (BG)
42) What is something good to listen to? Your spouse (RD), The Black Eyed Peas (JL), Music (RV) (SH), Downhere (JH), Birds and nature (PH), The Moldau by Smetana (BG)
43) What is something good to quote? Shakespeare (RD), Your grandmother's old wives' tales (JL) The Bible (RV) (JH), Good advice (SH), Jason Vikse (you WILL be an author one day!!) (PH)
44) What is something good to share? Time (RD), Dessert (JL) (SH), Dinner (HV), Chocolate (RV), Your life (JH) (BG), Stories and experiences (PH)
45) What is something good to look at? The sky (RD), The ocean (JL), The mountains (RV), Your husband (SH), Your wife (JH), Sunsets (especially from an airplane at 30,000 feet) (PH), Flowers - so many intricate details! (BG)
46) What is something good to believe in? Yourself (RD) (JL), Your spouse (HV), Jesus (RV), A good God (SH), The infallibility of Scripture (JH), Santa (PH)
47) What is something good to think about? The Future (RD), How lucky we are every day (JL), Others (RV), Life goals (SH), Constant improvement (JH), Your future, your options, your ambitions - reach for the sky and achieve it! (PH)
48) What is something good to wake up to? A new day (RD), A smile (JL), The smell of bacon (RV), Your spouse (SH), 11 Bells (JH), Birds, but not seagulls or roosters (PH)
49) What is something good to steal? Someone's heart (RD) (PH), A kiss (JL), Second base (RV) (JH), Potpourri (SH)
50) What is something good to plan in advance? Travel (RD) (JL) (PH), Getting together with others (HV), Answers to random questions (RV), Vacation, no, Dentist appointment... same thing (SH) The quickest route to a destination (may or may not involve left turns) (JH)

Come on folks, you can do it! I write for you all the time, it's the least you can do to write for me once.

Sixteen Going on Seventeen

2011-12-05T19:21:00.001+11:00

There's something I want to tell you all. I wanted to tell you ages ago, but I didn't think you were ready. I'm not sure if I'm ready myself, but it's something you should know, and it's something I have to say. Here goes...

Pic From: http://www.babymoustaches.com/category/baby-moustaches-2/

I'm older than I look.

Honest. This is why I generally have some form of facial hair; because without it I'm often mistaken for a teenager. Which, I'm told, I will appreciate when I'm 50 and look 40. It's not as pleasant when you're 27 and trying to order a drink at the pub.

But all that is changing. As Bilbo said, " Age, it seems, has finally caught up with me." I used to look in the mirror and see my smooth baby-faced skin interrupted by pimples and naivety, capped by a thick ocean of hair. Well, the tide is rapidly receding in that ocean, and is leaving behind creases in my forehead. As for the colour, well let's just say it's turning... distinguished. But at a glance, I know that people don't look at me and think to themselves, "There's a fellow in his late 20s." They probably think, "I wonder if his parents know where he is."

But I can't complain too much, as it has helped me get a few roles. In the last few years I've played many parts younger than myself, including three 16-year-olds, a 15-year-old, and even a 14-year-old. Being so often inside the head of people of that age (even though they were in a variety of time periods), I feel like I've experience my teenage years more than once, in a few different ways. I've been insecure, overconfident, angry, a loner, a gang-member, a troubled kid, a goody-two-shoes, an idealist, and just a teenager in love. And with all that experience, I've discovered one grand overarching truth. I'm glad I'm not a teenager anymore. You know, some people will tell you to cherish these times in your life, and that's true enough, but sometimes the best thing about memories is that you get to look back on them, you know what I mean?

But the fact remains; I've spent so much time reliving the teens that it sometimes surprises me that they've gone, and that the world now expects certain things from me and has different standards that I have to meet. Every now and then I get a reminder though. So I decided to compile a list.

And here they are... Signs You're Not a Teenager Anymore.

1) Weekends are no longer for partying. They're for catching up on housework, running errands, and naps.

2) You've traded in complaining about how small your allowance is for complaining about how large your mortgage is.

3) Friends come in different sets. Instead of jock, brain, and drama geek, you have single, couples, people with babies.

4) Your relationship with your father has grown from asking, "Dad, can I have the keys," to "Dad, can I have some tuition money," to "Dad, can you and Mom babysit tonight?"

5) Talking to members of the opposite sex is no longer a competitive sport in which there are no winners. Conversation becomes a possibility.

6) The minefields of acne give way to the trench warfare of laugh lines and crows feet.

7) You go into the teen fiction section of the library to get the next Harry Potter or Percy Jackson book and all of the mothers pull their children close until you leave.

8) The music in the stores at the mall starts to seem too loud.

9) The songs you loved to listen to move from the "New Hits" radio station to the "Classics" radio station.

10) You see kids on the street and realize that what you're thinking to yourself about them is the same thing your parents said about your friends.

11) The teen idols of your day are playing parents on TV dramas, and the teen idols of today remind you of your friend's little sibling.

I'm sure you've got more, readers! Let me hear it! What is it that reminds you that you're not a teenager anymore!

Do-Re-Mi

2011-12-02T18:18:00.001+11:00

Okay, I'll admit it, this one was tough. What blog could I do that works with this title? I'm sure you've been thinking it as well, some of the recent comments have some... interesting ideas for some of the names you know are coming up. Speaking of which, how do you like the idea of a series like this? Something I should consider again in the future, after a break? Something i should jump into again right away? Something I should never do again? If you don't comment an answer, then you forfeit the right to complain later!

But back to the topic at hand. Seeing as this is the first December post of the year, and since Krista and I just put up our little Christmas tree last night (pics available on Facebook soon), and since the true meaning of Christmas is Santa Claus (that's true, right?), and since Santa is an Elf, and therefore Santa's wife must be an Elf, I decided to go with an "Elf" theme, and do something I have never done before on my blog.

Poetry.

So here it is. Do-Re-Mi + Elf = Blog Seven in The Sound of Music Series. Enjoy.

How Not toPhotograph an Elf

By: Jason Vikse

There once was a man who did all that you can

do to try to photograph an elf.

We’ll say his name’s Jay, which a few of you may

Know is the same nameI call myself.

He set up his hide and he slipped right inside

with his camera when it was done.

The lighting was good and he saw as he stood

the woods, througha drop of golden sun.

He’d been told a fairy would always be wary

unless she was caught by a pro.

The way to be one-up was whistle at sun up.

The perfect note to follow Sol.

So he whistled the note from way back in his throat

when he first saw the light of the sun.

And he saw an elf pop over the mountaintop

which was sure along, long way to run.

So he whistled again and it soared through the glen

to the elf (went right into her head!).

The elf followed the song, she was pulled right along

attached like aneedle pulling thread.

Jay prepared his new lens and he thought of the friends

who would never believe this a shred.

In his hastiness he spilled his mug of hot tea,

which he liked to drinkwith jam and bread.

The tea scalded his lap and he let out a “Crap!”

‘Twas so loud the elf couldn’t but hear.

And before he could shoot it, its figure re-routed

into a deer. A female deer.

So Jay left from the wood, having taken no good

photographs he could show to his friend.

But his thighs got all burned, and a lesson was learned

and that will bring us back to... the end.

Pic From: http://02b93fb.netsolhost.com/blog/page/47/

Well it's not my best work by a long shot, but still... it's fun. Hope you enjoyed this rather different blog entry. Who knows what's next? Could be anything! Wait and see!

No Way To Stop It

2011-11-30T14:03:00.001+11:00

I have no head for finance. I don't get that involved in politics. But something is happening that may or may not affect the fortunes of all. So I've tried to make myself aware. Here's my take.

The tipping point. It's being called The Great Recession. Financial hardship that for a while seemed to affect everyone from the small business owner to even the big boys on the top of the pyramid. As recessions go, that's probably the best kind, socially. The kind that gets to everyone, rich and poor. But that all changed. See, the government was interested in helping, through the generous use of bailouts. But they weren't interested in helping the low man on the totem pole. What was a group descent suddenly became a strong proof that the gap between the rich and the poor is growing dramatically.

People started to complain. This wasn't anything new, but what was different was that complaints didn't go away. And neither did the complainers. My familiarity with the Occupy movement was nil, but I'd seen reports in the media, and thought to myself... "Hmm. Wonder how long that will last." It seems that most protest movements last until the media attention dies, and then support slowly trickles away. Well, it's coming up on 12 weeks now, and it's not trickling. What started as a simple protest of financial inequality and the governmental systems that support it has now become an international movement.

Pic From: http://www.happyplace.com/4163/worlds-most-pointless-protest-signs/page/1

We Are the 99%. That's the slogan. It's meant to question the true nature of any democracy that allows the vast majority of the power and wealth to reside in the top 1% of the population of any given nation. Can it still be "government by the people" if the people have no power? The original demand of the movement in the United States was for a "Robin Hood" tax (ie. steal from the rich and give to the poor), but has expanded with the movement and now includes:

1) campaign finance reform.
2) media democratization: "that media companies be owned and managed by their staff."
3) the creation of "citizen boards" to influence corporate regulation and deter regulatory capture.
4) "expropriation of the health insurance industry."
5) "immediate review" of the constitutionality of the Patriot Act.
6) immediate student loan reform and "gradual implementation of a publicly funded...education system."
7) "restoration of the social safety net."
8) "an end to imperialistic wars."
9) "employee ownership plans" be required of private corporations.
10) investigation of crimes of the existing financial industry and replacement of that industry by "publicly owned, worked-managed" institutions.
11) a truly democratic "economy and political system that works for the 99%."

This seems like a pretty basic manifesto to me. Nothing new, nothing different. So why is this movement gathering such a following? From it's beginnings with media coverage in Wall Street and San Fransisco in mid-September it has grown to become a truly international movement. To put it in perspective, these are some of the cities that now host Occupy protests: In Africa: Cairo, Cape Town, Durban, East London, Grahamstown, Johannesburg, Tunis, In The Americas: Calgary, Edmonton, Red Deer, Comox Valley, Kelowna, Kamloops, Lloydminster, Nanaimo, Nelson, Vancouver, Victoria, Winnipeg, Fredericton, Moncton, Saint John, Corner Brook, St. John's, Halifax, Guelph, Hamilton, London, Kingston, North Bay, Ottawa, Sault Ste. Marie, Sudbury, Toronto, Windsor, Charlottetown, Chicoutimi, Montreal, Regina, Saskatoon, Buenos Aires, Cordoba, Mendoza, Roasrio, San Miguel de Tucuman, San Salvador de Jujuy, Belo Horizonte, Campinas, Curitiba, Goiania, Rio de Janeiro, Porto Alegre, Salvador, Sao Paulo, Concepcion, Santiago, Valparaiso, Bogota, San Jose, Quito, Mexico City, Monterrey, Tijuana, Lima, Montevideo, In Asia: Hong Kong, Luoyang, Zhengzhou, Kolkata, Mumbai, Jakarta, Tel Aviv, Tokyo, Kuala Lumpur, Ulaanbaatar, Islamabad, Manila, Seoul, Taipei, Istanbul, In Europe: Vienna, Antwerp, Brussels, Leuven, Banja Luka, Sarajevo, Buje, Dubrovnik, Pula, Rijeka, Split, Azgreb, Prague, Copenhagen, Bath, Birmingham, Bournemouth, Bradford, Brighton, Bristol, Leeds, London, Manchester, Nottingham, Newcastle upon Tyne, Norwich, Plymouth, Sheffield, Tallinn, Aix-en-Provence, Auch, Dijon, Grenoble, Lyon, Marseilles, Montpellier, Nantes, Paris, Pau, Reunion, Rochefort, Strasbourg, Toulouse, Helsinki, Joensuu, Jyvaskyla, Tampere, Turku, Berlin, Bochum, Cologne, Dusseldorf, Dresden, Freiburg im Breisgau, Frankfurt, Hamburg, Hannover, Kiel, Leipzig, Munich, Rostock, Stuttgart, Athens, Thessaloniki, Reykjavik, Cork, Dublin, Galway, Milan, Rome, Skopje, Podgorica, Alkmaar, Amersfoort, Amsterdam, Arnhem, Assen Deventer, Doewtinchem, Dordrecht, Eindhoven, Groningen, Haarlem, The Hague, Maaskantje, Nijmegen, Rotterdam, Tilburg, Utrecht, Venlo, Zwolle, Belfast, Krakow, Warsaw, Barcelos, Braga, Coimbra, Evora, Faro, Funchal, Lisbon, Porto, Santarem, Bucharest, Moscow, Edinburgh, Glasgow, Belgrade, Bratislava, Koper, Ljubljana, Maribor, Barcelona, Madrid, Malaga, Mieres, Las Palmas de Gran Canaria, Palma de Mallorca, Pontevedra, Valencia, Gothenburg, Helsingborg, Malmo, Norrkoping, Ostersund, Stockholm, Sundsvall, Umea, Uppsala, Geneva, Zurich, Cardiff, In Oceania: Adelaide, Brisbane, Hobart, Melbourne, Perth, Sydney, Auckland, Christchurch, Wellington, Dunedin, Invercargill.

And that's not including the United States: Auburn, Birmingham, Huntsville, Mobile, Montgomery, Tuscaloosa, Anchorage, Bethel, Fairbanks, Homer, Juneau, Kenai, Unalaska, Flagstaff, Phoenix, Prescott, Tempe, Tucson, Yuma, Conway, Fayetteville, Jonesboro, Little Rock, Alameda, Amador County, Anaheim, Arcata, Bakersfield, Berkeley, Camarillo, Chico, Coachella Valley, Culver City, Davis, Encinitas, Escondido, Eureka, Fontana, Fresno, Gilroy, Grass Valley, Irvine, Lompoc, Long Beach, Los Angeles, Marysville, Merced, Monterey, Nevada City, Oakland, Ojai, Oxnard, Palo Alto, Pasadena, Petaluma, Redding, Redlands, Redwood City, Riverside, Sacramento, Slainas, San Diego, San Fransisco, San Jose, San Luis Obispo, San Marino, San Rafael, Santa Ana, Santa Barbara, Santa Cruz, Santa Maria, Santa Monica College, Santa Rosa, Sebastopol, Stockton, Temecula, van Nuys, Venice, Ventura, Aspen, Boulder, Colorado Springs, Denver, Fort Collins, Grand Junction, Pueblo, Branford, Hartford, New Haven, New London, Wilmington, Washington DC, Daytona Beach, Fort Myers, Gainsville, Jacksonville, Lakeland, Miami, Orlando, Pensacola, Sarasota, St. Augustine, St. Petersburg, Tallahassee, Tampa, vero Beach, West Palm Beach, Athens, Atlanta, Augusta, Dalton, Fort Benning, Macon, Savannah, Valdosta, Hilo, Honolulu, Kaua'i, Kona, Maui, Boise, Idaho Falls, Moscow, Pocatello, Bloomington, Carbondale, Champaign, Chicago, DeKalb, Galesburg, Macomb, Peoria, Rockford, Springfield, Bloomington, Elkhart, Evansville, Fort Wayne, Indianapolis, Muncie, Portage, South Bend, Ames, Cedar Valley, Cedar Rapids, Des Moines, Iowa City, Kansas City, Lawrence, Manhattan, Pittsburg, Wichita, Ashland, Bowling Green, Lexington, Louisville, Owensboro, Paducah, Bton Rouge, New Orleans, Shreveport, Bangor, Brunswick, Portland, Augusta, Baltimore, Cumberland, Amherst, Berkshire County, Boston, Cambridge, Jamaica Plain, Lenox, Newton, Needham, Northampton, Salem, Springfield, Williamstown, Worcester, Ann Arbor, Detroit, East Lansing, Flint, Grand Rapids, Kalamazoo, Lansing, Muskegon, Traverse City, Duluth, Minneapolis, Moorhead, Jackson, Bioloxi, Cape Girardeau, Columbia, Kansas City, St. Joseph, St. Louis, Bozeman, Butte, Great Falls, Helena, Kalispell, Missoula, Lincoln, Omaha, Carson City, Las Vegas, Reno, Concord, Keene, Atlantic City, Jersey City, Mount Olive, Newark, Princeton, Trenton, Albuquerque, Las Cruces, Los Lunas, Santa Fe, Taos, Albany, Binghamton, Buffalo, Fredonia, Ithica, Kingston, New Paltz, New York City, Poughkeepsie, Rochester, Saranac Lake, Syracuse, Utica, Asheville, Chapel Hill, Charlotte, Durham, Fayetteville, Greensboro, Hendersonville, Raleigh, Wilmington, Winston-Salem, Fargo, Grand Forks, Akron, Athens, Canton, Cincinnati, Cleveland, Columbus, Dayton, Kent, Toledo, Youngstown, Norman, Oklahoma City, Tulsa, Ashland, Bend, Corvallis, Eugene, Medford, Mosier, Portland, Roseburg, Salem, Allentown, Bethlehem, Doylestown, Easton, Erie, Harrisburg, Lancaster, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Pottsville, University Park, San Juan, Providence, Charleston, Columbia, Greenville, Rapid City, Sioux Falls, Spearfish, Vermillion, Chattanooga, Clarksville, Johnson City, Knoxville, Memphis, Murfreesboro, Nashville, Amarillo, Austin, Bryan, College Station, Corpus Christi, Dallas, Denton, El Paso, Fort Worth, Galveston, Houston, Lewisville, Lubbock, Marfa, McAllen, San Angelo, San Antonio, San Marcos, Ogden, Park City, Provo, Salt Lake City, St. George, Brattleboro, Bennington, Burlington, Arlington, Blacksburg, Charlottesville, Norfolk, Richmond, Roanoke, Williamsburg, Bellevue, Bellingham, Bremerton, Centralia, Cle Elum, Colville, Everett, Leavenworth, Longview, Marysville, Mt. Vernon, Olympia, Port Townsend, Puyallup, Richland, Seattle, Spokane, Stanwood, Tacoma, Vancouver, Walla Walla, Wenatchee, Yakima, Charleston, Davis, Fairmont, Huntington, Martinsburg, Morgantown, Oak Hill, Janesville, Madison, Milwaukee, Casper, Cheyenne, and Jackson Hole.

For those of you who skipped straining your eyes over those lists, here's the bottom line. This movement has pockets in over 80 countries around the world, and as of November 26, had 2668 communities listed. There have been around 4000 arrests made, with over 100 injuries and 8 deaths. This is no small thing. Obviously it has struck a cord with something people feel is needed in government; radical change.

From what I can tell, there are two possible reactions to this information. One is this too shall pass. Eventually the media will stop covering the protests and the public's interest will die. The status quo will be maintained, and life will go on as normal. The second is to brace for impact. Some think that this is the spark that will begin a true revolution that will destroy/rebuild the United States, and other governments besides. Certainly it is in fitting with the pattern of Empire. To me that seems extreme; most likely the best they can hope for is some policy changes, in word if not in action. But whatever you think, remember... the government of France thought they had it all under control in 1789.

My real question is this. Whatever one may think of the policies of this movement in all its various incarnations, when will it truly become a global movement? Not global in that it has cells in places around the world, but global in that it recognizes that in terms of wealth on a global scale, most of the protesters are in fact in the 1 percent! That is not meant to ignore the validity of many of the movement's tenets, just as a reminder that there are many who are living in systems more broken that that of most of the protesters. One can of course argue that one broken system cannot help fix another, and that the first world countries should address their issues before they can assist the third world. But is that right? When fighting for rights, freedoms, and equal treatment, should those who are dealing with the worst be dealt with right away, instead of pushed aside? Or should our position be Physician, heal thyself before tackling the rest of the world?

What do you think? Is this a flash in the pan? Is it the herald of change? Is it asking too much, is it asking enough?

I Have Confidence

2011-11-27T16:09:00.001+11:00

I have many life mottoes. Some are passed down through my family, from generation to generation, like this gem: Wherever you go, there you are. Others are just good sense, and when remembered can inspire and instruct, like this one: Behind every closed door is an opportunity. And a dog named Spike. You can see a classic at the top of this blog site next to the name. Shakespeare was a wise man, n'est pas? And here's another for you for today. If you can't always be right, at least always be sure.

For better or for worse, this seems to be the motto I often live my life by. Confident in my absolutes. Until proven wrong, and then just as confident in my new view. Which I guess means the opposite of what I just said; I'm actually quite wishy-washy in my absolutes. And I'm confident about that. Or am I?

Pic From: http://www.elec-intro.com/self-confidence

Confidence is important in what I do. Performance work, by definition requires an audience. And performing in front of an audience requires a certain level of confidence. Jerry Seinfeld once did a bit on fears, which I will misquote here: "They did a survey on people's greatest fears. Death ranked as number two, after public speaking. That means, that if you had to attend a funeral, most people would rather be laying in the coffin than giving the eulogy."

So doing what I do requires confidence. But is it true confidence? Many of the performers I know, myself included, are among the most insecure, validation-seeking people around! We work in an environment of critique and review, where our entire existence depends on getting it right, every time. We push through our self-judgement until we're pleased with our own work, the director/musical director/choreographer corrects us until it's perfect, the critics judge our talent based on two hours worth of work, and then we face that dreaded animal, the audience! Now I realize that many other careers depend upon "getting it right," but seldom are the results and critiques so public. When was the last time your work was reviewed and then that review printed in the newspaper? Under this kind of pressure, it doesn't surprise me that performers often have confidence issues, and constantly need reassurance.

But then there are those who go too far. Often, in the public eye, I would say that actors and musicians are generalized as "divas," their confidence having given way to arrogance. Or at least it can be percieved that way. But what is arrogance? What is accepted as regular behaviour from one individual is thought of as arrogant from another. Someone can seem "too big for their britches" or as "overstepping their bounds." Accordingly, arrogance might simply be when one's confidence outweighs one's ability. We've all seen it. The new kid who hasn't yet earned the right to say or do certain things. The low-level employee who needs to remember their place. I'm reminded of a Garfield comic strip in which Garfield comments that "it's time the public servant around here remembered who's the public, and who's the servant."

If that's true, then arrogance isn't just true confidence gone awry or false confidence pushed too far, it's an outsider's view of the ability/usefulness of the person in question in relation to the level of confidence we deem they are allowed to hold. Seen in that light, the question of whether a person is confident or arrogant isn't based on their behaviour at all, but instead on whether they've crossed the invisible line society has placed in their profession. And it's different for each one. We wouldn't accept behaviour from a dairy farmer that we find perfectly natural from a NBA superstar.

So the question then is this. What are we, as a society, willing to accept? If we agree that certain levels of confidence have to be maintained for certain jobs to be done, performance art being only one of them, then are we condoning arrogance? Or do we have the right to demand that those involved maintain a quiet, easy confidence while trying to achieve perfection in a stressful environment? Can there be a balancing act that allows one to have enough confidence to do what one needs to do, but not so much as to annoy the person beside you? A tricky balance to find, especially in any field so much in the public eye.

These question aren't meant to excuse arrogance, but only to question our right to speak against it while condoning the societal conventions that arbitrarily define it based on the person in question's "value" to society.

What do you think? Go ahead and comment below. Unless of course, you lack the confidence...

Until then, I can't work under these conditions! I'll be in my trailer!

My Favourite Things

2011-11-24T22:57:00.001+11:00

Some of you know me very well, and that's why you read my blog. Some of you don't know me very well at all, and that's why you read my blog. Most of you fall somewhere in the middle, and I have no idea why you read my blog.

So this is for all you different types of people. Friends, Family, Acquaintances, Stalkers, Mortal Enemies, etc. A way for us to get to know one another. In a very one-sided fashion.

For the fourth entry in this blog series, I'm going to do something a little different. Something that some of you may find boring, some of you may find a little interesting, and some of you may decide to copy... I mean honour with an homage. A list. A list of favourites. And just in time for Christmas!

http://www.invokeresults.com/index.php?p=1_13

So here we have it. Jason's List of Favourite Things:

- Movie - Probably one of the trickiest. There are so many greats, but I'd have to put Finding Neverland and The King's Speech at the top of this list.
- Musical - Into the Woods. If you don't know it, why not?
- Pop - Coca Cola. There's only one Original.
- Play (Comedy) - The Importance of Being Earnest. Oscar Wilde at his witty best.
- Play (Drama) - Twelve Angry Men (This could also be considered in the Movie category).
- Snack Food - Spitz. They're a cracking good time.
- Colour - Green.
- Book - Well, as you may know, I've read quite a few over the last few years, and I'd have to give the top spot to The Boy in the Striped Pajamas by John Boyne.
- Christmas Carol - As tempted as I am to put Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer, I'm going to put O Holy Night instead. That last high note... chills every time. Listen to David Phelps' live version and see if you agree (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjsTx0RLrLM&feature=youtu.be). Many other artists have done incredible versions of this song as well.
- Land Animal - There's something about the African Elephant that inspires confidence, wouldn't you agree?
- Air Animal - Bald Eagle. And I'm not even a Statesian.
- Sea Animal - Orca. Yes, I am a member of the Free Willy generation.
- Ice Cream - Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough. The more chocolatey, the better. With chocolate chips and fudge chunks? Yes please.
- Chocolate Bar - Snickers.
- TV Show (Drama) - CSI? Dexter? House? Lost? I can't even say. That's not even considering the BBC (Sherlock anyone?).
- TV Show (Comedy) - Frasier. David Hyde Pierce is the funniest thing on television.
- Fruit - A nice hard Nectarine.
- Vegetable - Potato. Mashed, roasted, baked. There's no wrong way to cook it!
- Meat - Chicken. Because unlike everything else that tastes like chicken, this was always meant to.
- Superhero - Does a Jedi count? That's what I'm going with.
- Children's Toy - Lego. Because, really, you're just playing with your imagination.
- School Subject - History, with a side of English.
- Sport - Hockey. To watch, that is.
- Alcohol - Vodka. Martini. Shaken or stirred, I can't tell the difference.
- Pizza - Pepperoni. Simple, no nonsense.
- Beatles' Song - Wow, there are a lot to choose from here. This one could go so many ways. Let it Be.
- Peanuts' character - Linus. He always deserved better. Although Snoopy was awfully sassy...
- Animated Disney Classic - I'd say The Lion King, but I don't consider that a classic. I'm thinking pre-1970. Going to have to go with Bambi, but One Hundred and One Dalmatians comes in a close second.
- Game - Canasta. That's right, I'm old. Now discard a 7.
- Restaurant - Back in Our Home and Native Land, White Spot every day of the week and twice on Sundays. Here, we've found a little place we like for pizza and pasta. Spinellas.
- Season - Autumn. Cool and brisk, but not too cold. Lose the dry heat of the sun, the wet chill of the snow, and the damp rain of the spring, and what are you left with? Autumn. Go for a walk. It's worth it.
- Instrument - Either the cello or the oboe.
- Vehicle - The Mini. Cooper or Austin.
- Language - Italian. It's the most evocative. Feel like whispering sweet nothings? Try Italian. Feel like shouting for an hour in true hatred? Go for Italian. Feel like leaving a horse's head in your enemy's bed? It's Italian, baby! Although, I do like English, don't get me wrong. It all just takes more work in English.
- Joke - What's the difference between a duck? It has two left feet! Hahahahahahaha!
- Fast Food Restaurant - Subway! Footlong BLT on Italian Herb & Cheese, white cheddar, lettuce, tomato, pickles, cucumbers, mayo, mustard, salt & pepper, Parmesan. 8 years. Same sandwich. That's loyalty!
- Cookie - Chocolate Chip. Why improve on perfection?
- Tree - The Weeping Willow. I don't know why.
- Planet - Pluto. I feel as though I understand it. Don't let them bully you Pluto!
- Constellation - Orion. It's one of the few constellations I can always find, and one of the few that we can see here as well as back in Canada.

So, that's all I could think up right now! Have any suggestions for me? Put them in the comments section, and I'll update the blog with the answers! Also, can anyone out there guess the name of my next post? There are only a few options if you're paying attention to the series I'm writing! Until next time!

REQUESTED ADDITIONS:

- Wine - I'm still a white wine kind of guy, but my personal fave right now is a rosé. It's a White Zinfandel from Gallo Vineyard in California.
- Character I Have Played - Dramatic... Perchik from Fiddler on the Roof. Comedic... Barnaby Tucker from Hello, Dolly!
- Christmas Treat - Oma's Schpritz Cookies! Every year, once a year! Except this year of course... :(

An Ordinary Couple

2011-11-22T16:20:00.001+11:00

Happy Anniversary!

To us! (That is, you and me!) That's right, folks, this here is my 70th blog post! You know what that means? It means you should have bought me diamonds, in a platinum setting.

I forgive you for forgetting, because that's just the kind of guy I am.

Speaking of anniversaries, it isn't mine with Krista. That's my awkward segue into today's blog topic. Let's start the story on Sunday. So it's Sunday morning. Krista and I head off to a new church, to see what's what. The people there are very friendly, and inquisitive in that "the-greeter-over-there-just-told-me-you-were-visiting-and-to-go-and-make-you-feel-welcome" kind of way. Which, compared to other kinds of friendliness, isn't a bad way at all. Anyway, we eventually got to my favourite part of the "nice to meet you" conversation, which is when the meeter asks us what we do. It's usually a toss-up which of our chosen paths gets the higher eyebrow raise, but either way, it does always seem to charm people to meet a real live "I blow things up in my lab, no big deal" scientist and a real live "Why aren't you doing what I told you to! I said EMOTE!" director/actor. There is one commonality with all our meetings though. They always comment on the "interestingness" of our being together. (Those of you who met us as a couple can comment on the truth of that). It seems as though the mind boggles at the thought of two such disparate people being together.

Pic From: http://blog.levoma.com/opposites-attract/

And it is true. We are very different. More than once have we been told that as a couple we seem to be the definition of "Opposites Attract." And more often than not, once people know us as a couple, we're asked how we make it work, because as most people know, the unspoken conclusion to the phrase "Opposites attract" is "and then they drive each other crazy."

And the truth is... sometimes! Our differences stem from many things. The way we were raised, our educations, etc. But to me, the biggest difference in Krista and myself is found in the way our chosen careers affect our worldviews. She lives in a world of super-reality, where things are discussed and debated and defined until proven true or false, where fact and logic rule. She has to; it's who she is, and it's what she does. The world of academic science does not allow for anything else. I, on the other hand, live in a world of super-fantasy, where the undefined is infinitely superior, where ideas are created on a whim, where imagination and what could be trump what is, every time. And I have to; it's who I am and it's what I do. The world of creative writing and theatrical expression flourish under it. Now, to be clear, that doesn't mean that she isn't creative (as the Grease props and her toddlers Sunday School class will tell you), nor does it mean I'm not logical (at times, anyway!). It simply means that we generally see the world through different lenses.

And so people ask us, how do we make it work? The truth is, sometimes our different views of the world put us at loggerheads. We can both be convinced our view is the sound one, (it's usually Krista's, as a view based in a fantasy world seldom holds water, though it is often prettier, if I do say so myself!). The solution lies in realizing that two people, with two such distinguishable viewpoints have a remarkable advantage as long as they work together. Our different ways of looking at the world mean that we have two sets of eyes looking at two different ways to get the best out of our lives. Ideas have to pass through two very different vetting processes. Choices are made with more than one set of standards to be equal to. Quite frankly, I look at our strengths, individual and combined, and often think to myself that with us as a couple, the world has quite something to contend with. Heck, I think that when I look at just Krista! I consider myself lucky that she's on my side!

So, how do we make it work? The same way anyone else does. We may seem the extreme, but no one marries themselves (except for Kevin Nadal. Look it up!). We all have something in us that our significant others don't, that's what makes us interesting. I'd hate to be with someone like me. Can you imagine how annoying that would be (don't answer that). But we all choose someone different from us, to some extent. The key is to see the differences not as conflicting but as complementary. So, is there such a thing as an ordinary couple? If there is, I bet they're as boring as an over-long sermon on Matthew's Begats delivered by Ben Stein. I hope that couple never invites me over for dinner. But before I get all carried away with the romantic comedy, you-complete-me-ness of this post, I must ask you this. Have you been a relationship where the differences were too much? Too little? Do you always want your better half to be more like you? If so, try this. Imagine if they were.

Sends chills down the spine, doesn't it?

How Do You Solve a Problem Like...

2011-11-18T01:13:00.001+11:00

Ever have one of those days? I had one last week. On Sunday the 13th actually. But this story starts well before that. And goes well further. Let me take you back...

Just before we left Victoria, a group of friends surprised Krista and me with a "good riddance" gift. They'd bought us dinner and a show in Melbourne. Dinner for two at a restaurant, and two tickets to see Chicago at one of the more professional community theatres in the Melbourne area, the Williamstown Musical Theatre Company. It was a wonderfully thoughtful gift. And I didn't forget about it.

I did, however, get the day wrong.

I'd switched the tickets over to our names, and got everything set up with the restaurant and we were waiting anxiously to see the show on the 13th. Unfortunately, our tickets were for the 12th. I don't mind telling you, there was an unpleasant moment when I realized that I had the wrong day, and that we'd missed the show.

As a last-ditch effort, I contacted the theatre, explained my stupidity, and they, in an extremely nice gesture, told me that they'd see what they could do. I should tell you at this point that the show was not only sold out, but had been extended, and sold out again.

A few days later I received an email from the secretary of the company, who told me she was able to rebook my dinner reservations at no cost to me, and that if we came on the 17th, she'd try to find us a place to watch the show, although we may have to pay for the seats. Fair enough. We were thrilled, and touched that someone would go so far out of their way to accommodate two unknown people with funny accents.

Fast forward to yesterday. I was up early in the morning, checking and double-checking the routes, schedules and transfers for the trains we'd have to take to get there, and making sure I had addresses and walking routes all laid out for the trips to and from the restaurant and theatre. So far so good. Krista came home early from work, and we set off. One train, two trains, easy-peasy. We even found the restaurant, no problem. We were a little early (just in case) so we took a walk around the oceanfront across from the restaurant to kill some time (pictures included below).

So, it's time. We get to the restaurant. And our names aren't on the list. Let me be clear, the place wasn't full. We could have a table, but our names needed to be on the list so that the restaurant would recognize that our meal was already paid for. Eventually we discovered that when the reservation had been re-booked it had been done so under the name of the friend that got it for us in Victoria. Whew!

After dinner, we headed to the theatre. We presented ourselves at the ticket booth, and were told to wait to see if any seats were left unclaimed. At two minutes to showtime we were called over. Krista got a seat. I got a plastic chair in the aisle. But we were in!

The show was brilliant. Strong performances were framed by a unique set and brilliant lighting. I moved into another vacant seat about halfway through Act One when it became clear that owner wasn't showing. We give many thanks to the oh-so-kind lady who helped us in our hour of need and got us seats, at no expense.

So it was a triumph. A grand success. We walked back to the train station and sat to wait for the 10:35 train. It did not come. Ok. The next train was at 11:09. Fine. A voice came over the PA system: "The 11:09 train is not running, due to vandalism. The next train will be at 11:45." So. We settled in.

11:45 arrived. A train did not. The PA came to life again: "All trains on this line are cancelled. We cannot contact any of our supervisors, so we will not be providing any replacement trains or buses."

We were stranded. Now, usually, if the metro system has an issue, they will send in a replacement train. If that isn't possible because of some problem with the track, they will send a bus that will take you to a nearby junction station so you can make your way to your destination. But not today.

So, we got a cab. (By the way, they aren't as expensive here as we were led to believe). We made our way home from Williamstown to Moonee Ponds (for those of you on Google Maps right now), got home at 1:00ish, and now I write this blog, describing our troubles for your entertainment. Problems solved.

Sailboats in the harbour at Williamstown. Note the City of Melbourne in the background.

A view of Melbourne from the Williamstown Pier.

The pier on a warm spring evening.

The fish length ruler, so there are no tall tales when you return to port.

Just in case you ever wondered, this is the difference in how you measure a shark and a common fish.

The Sound of Music

2011-11-16T20:44:00.001+11:00

Age: -6 months. Daddy places headphones on Mommy's tummy, and plays classical music in the hopes you'll become some sort of genius. It doesn't work.

Age: 6 months. Brahms's Lullaby plays above your crib, emanating from a rotating mobile. It's wooden, plastic, or plush, depending on your era.

Age: 1 year. Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star is all you know, and all you care to know.

Age: 2-6 years. Your musical tastes have expanded to include Down By the Bay, You Are My Sunshine, anything by Fred Penner or Sharon, Lois, and Bram. These songs represent something new to you, the opening up of your world.

Age: 6-10 years. You abandon the world of childish music. What was fun and comforting becomes uncool. Age-inappropriate pop songs become the order of the day. Your music reflects a desire to be accepted as older than you are.

Age: 10-13 years. Your musical tastes no longer exist. Instead, you listen to whatever it is that everyone else listens to.

Age: 13-16 years. Popular music opens up to a wider world. Indie rock, folk, punk. The music you listen to becomes a way of expressing your individuality, of telling the world that you are in fact different than all those you've sought to fit in with for the last few years. (Not so different as to be singled out, of course.)

Age: 16 -> Your taste in music expands. Choices are no longer limited by style as a social definer. You discover that you are what you listen to, and you can be anything you want.

www.thestar.com/entertainment/music/article/878228--

beethoven-and-your-brain-a-synaptic-symphony?ref=nf

As a society, we have music on the brain. It's part of our childhood, from nursery rhymes to the Mr. Dressup theme song. It fills our movies, it crowds our iPods, it plays at our high school dances and our weddings. We have awards shows to honour the best, and hidden playlists to secretly listen to the worst. We learn to connect certain times and events in our lives to specific soundtracks, finding meaning we thought we'd lost when we hear those songs again. And our library grows ever fuller...

Like our taste-buds, our auditory preference changes as we age. It can become all-encompassing, eclectic, varied. Some people choose to like a little of everything, carefully picking artists and genres that please their ears or evoke certain emotions. It can also become more focused. Certain styles become favourites, and while others can be appreciated, they can never truly compare. But regardless of the choices, one thing remains constant.

Everyone chooses something.

How many times have you asked the question, "what kind of music do you like?" and heard the answer, "Oh, I don't really like music." I would guess seldom. While there are exceptions to every rule, I think that the vast majority of people like, love, are consumed by some kind of music. But why?

What is the significance that music has for us? Why do we put our kids in piano lessons? Why do we sing in church? Why is there a wedding march and a funeral march, why do couples have "our song," why do we hum mindlessly, why do we whistle while we work?

Is it social? Do we do it because we're taught to? Perhaps it's convention, and we do it because everyone else is doing it. Or maybe it's biological. A form of communication that we see mirrored in birds and whales.

I would suggest that while all of those things may be true, the real reason we love music as we do is because it's emotional. Music calms us down at the end of a long day, and excites us at sporting events. It can inspire patriotism, sorrow, greatness, and despair. It can make us feel connected to the divine, or can remind us of our humanity. To me, the only explanation for the success of such diverse songs as "Hello Mudda, Hello Fadda," and "Amazing Grace" is the great diversity of human emotion. There is comedy and tragedy in every form of music you can think of. Opera and country music, jazz and rap, they aren't so different after all. All music does for us is say what we want to say, and emote what we want to emote. Perhaps all music was inspired by a desire to create a higher plane of expression.

Well then, if that is true, then the social convention of trying to tell something about a person by the type of music they listen to is useless. If all music serves the same purpose, then the only thing you'll be able to tell about a person who likes rap is that they like rap. Any further judgement must be based on what the music they like is saying. Which brings me to one of modern music's greatest issues.

"But I don't listen to the words, I just like the music!"

Many a parent has heard their child say this when confronted with the content of their latest CD. And fair enough. Lyrics are not the only way that music is experienced, they aren't even the best way. So instead of blindly banning music that is "questionable," consider this; if they aren't listening to the words, then what is the music telling them? Or what is it telling you about them? I think understanding musical preference can be very useful in understanding a person. Not by defining them by type (the opera aficionado, the country-western fan, etc.), but by allowing the music to tell you how they see the world, or perhaps how they want to see the world. If our musical choices reflect our emotional selves and focus our view of the world, then music is one of the most powerful devices we have to promote understanding. In fact, it is in music's great diversity that we find it's strength.

After all, if all music sounded the same, no one would want to listen.

You Learn Something New Every Episode

2011-11-14T18:39:00.001+11:00

Now that I'm all grown up, I believe more and more strongly in the importance of education. Not only education though. Learning for the sake of learning is a wonderful thing, but learning with purpose, education with a point is even better. How many times in math class did we all sit there and think, "but when am I going to use any of this?" And this is coming from someone with a degree in history, which, although it has many uses in many careers, is not the most financially viable field of study. But I think we can all agree that there is one place, one centre of knowledge that taught us all everything we needed to know to become the stable, responsible, not-at-all-wracked-with-issues adults that we are today.

I speak, of course, of Looney Tunes.

So here they are. The top 10 things I learned from Looney Tunes, in no particular order:

1) Never buy products for a company named Acme. Sure, the service is terrific, and the delivery time is phenomenal, but if it moves it'll crash more than Windows, and if it doesn't it'll still have more bugs than an Indiana Jones movie.

2) You aren't seriously wounded until you see birds flying in circles around your head. Anything less than that, and you should back on your feet in seconds, you weakling. And even if it is serious, practically everyone around is a Doc, so help is never far from hand.

3) Everyone has a speech impediment. Lisping, stuttering... all the cool kids are doing it. Why do you talk so normally, freak?

4) Take the opportunities life hands you to declare war at the slightest provocation. You're guaranteed to come out on top as long as you keep a wise-cracking attitude and use your opponents strengths against them.

5) Don't be afraid to flirt your way out of trouble. Works every time. Gentlemen, a blond wig, false eyelashes, and bright red lipstick are enough to take care of all your problems.

6) No doesn't mean no, as long as you have a foreign accent and pungent body odour. (Please bear in mind that if you follow this path, you have to be prepared to have a taste of your own medicine.)

7) Don't bother to stop and ask for directions. It doesn't matter how good your map is, you'll never get to that place you meant to get to. Save yourself the trouble; before you notice you're lost, go back and take that left turn at Albuquerque.

8) Hovering in midair is not only possible, but mandatory if you are falling from a great height. Just don't look down, as that will cause gravity to regain control of your mass.

9) Classical music and Opera are the soundtracks to life. I still can't listen to a collection of classical music without recognizing one or two songs from Looney Tunes episodes. (Be honest, how many of you hear Wagner's Ride of the Valkyries from Die Walküre and start singing to yourself, "kill the wabbit!")

10) It's always duck season.

So, what have you got readers? What else did Bugs and the gang teach you?

Welcome to the Suburbs of the Global Village

2011-11-12T13:16:00.001+11:00

I dedicate this blog to you, my readers. After my Remembrance Day rant yesterday, I wanted to take a day off of the heavy issues and engage a different part of your brains. So turn on your mental calculators.

When I recently gave this site a bit of a make-over, I took a look at some of the information that Google has collected on the people who read my blog. Now, don't worry, I don't have your address or anything like that, so let's keep the paranoia to a minimum. But they do give stats on what countries host my viewers, what operating systems they view them on, things like that. I found it remarkably interesting.

For example, did you know that 52% of you use Internet Explorer compared to the only 21% of you that use Firefox? Chrome (9%), Safari (8%), chromeframe (4%), and Opera (1%) also make a showing, with Mobile Safari, Mobile, NS8, and Netscape all sitting below 1%.

Also, in spite of the Apple revolution, it turns out that a resounding 85% of you are reading this using a Windows operating system, while only 11% are doing so on a Mac. iPhones, iPads, Linux, Android, Blackberry, Nokia, iPos, and other Unix all sit at under 1%.

Some statistics are not surprising in the least. In terms of the host nations, per pageview, roughly 55% of my readers are Canadian. 21% are from the United States, and 9% are from Australia. Makes sense to me.

But there is also a surprising showing from countries such as the Netherlands (4%), Russia (3.6%), France (2.2%), Germany (1.8%), the United Kingdom (1%), Japan (1%), and China (1%). Other nations that have checked in now and then include Italy, Bangladesh, Indonesia, South Korea, and Latvia.

While some of these numbers obviously represent fly-bys, keep in mind that these stats are from the last five years worth of blogging. The Netherlands show up consistently in the stats even if I look at them monthly, weekly, or daily. Someone out there is reading this blog on purpose. Hello to you! Or perhaps I should say, goedemiddag.

This begs the question: When did we become so easily connected to the world? Six years ago the idea of someone in Bangladesh reading my thoughts would have flabbergasted me! But today it's just the world we live in. The idea of a global village is old news. The world is shrinking as transportation, education, and the dissemination of information (that's a lot of "tions") make problems of accessibility a thing of the past.

So then why is it that when I look at these numbers, my world feels so much bigger?

Lest We Remember

2011-11-11T11:08:00.001+11:00

It's said that absence makes the heart grow fonder. If that's true, then the farther we get from events like WWI, WWII, Korea, Vietnam, and the many other wars that have taken place, the more seriously and respectfully we should take the observance of a day like Remembrance Day. But it seems to fade further and further into society's collective memory every year. Oh sure, there are those who watch the parades and attend the services, but I think that they are far outweighed by those who take the vacation day to sleep in, clock-watch their way through a minute of silence, and remove their poppy the moment the calendar page flips to the twelfth.

But even for that minority who make a point of honouring the day and what it stands for, it seems to me to be "not enough." And I include myself in this category. On the day itself, we watch specials on TV, or clips of Saving Private Ryan in school assemblies. We get teary at the sound of bagpipes and bugles, and proudly pay the minimum donation to show our patriotism on our shirt collar. We proudly stand for a minute in silence reflecting on what others have given so we can have the freedom we complain about in the newspapers day after day. So what is it about our society that makes remembering such a chore?

I would suggest that the answer lies in the day itself. Now don't get me wrong, I don't think having a day set aside for remembering is a bad thing, far from it. But I do think that it is the bare minimum. By giving us one day to remember, our society has implicitly given us 364 days to forget. And although our Veterans deserve parades and services and newscasts, I think that a greater honour would be for us to remember their sacrifices a little more every day, instead of once a year.

How is this possible? Honestly, I have no idea. It would require a shift in our understanding of freedom and war. These are easy concepts to misunderstand when you live in a country that solely exports them. But I think that when today's youth can recite line-for-line dialogue from Lord of the Rings but don't know the words of In Flanders Fields, or can describe in detail the Battle of Hogwarts while knowing nothing about the Battle of the Somme, we may need to look at a change in our priorities.

Do you agree? Or disagree? How do you remember, and why? Is Remembrance Day the best possible way to remember? Is it a step in the right direction, or does it hold us back from true appreciation?

In my opinion, all you have to do is look at a veteran while someone plays The Last Post to know.

One minute is not enough.

So, to end this blog, I want to thank all Veterans who have put their lives on the line and all those who paid the ultimate sacrifice so that I have the freedom that I so often fail to appreciate. This year, and all year, may we not forget to remember.

Picture from http://www.clubedoloser.com/blog/tag/remembrance-day/

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie,

In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

Just Another Day at the Office

2011-11-10T16:45:00.002+11:00

Two blogs within the same number of days? Unheard of! I refuse to believe it! Inconceivable!!

And yet, here we are.

So here's the theme of the day. Crazy workplace goings-on. I've certainly had some. You've certainly had some. So what's the deal?

Different places have different ways of going ka-blooey, certainly. I worked in a bookstore where a horrible accident just involved getting a card-board cut. (It's like a paper cut, but deeper, wider, and more stinging). Perhaps you restaurant workers have spilled hot soup on a customer, or you office workers have accidentally stapled various bits of yourselves to other bits of yourselves. What a grown-up does with their own stapler is none of my business.

But sometimes things get a little crazier.

Most of you know my wife is a chemist. The Canadian kind, where you do chemistry, not the Australian kind where you sell pharmaceuticals. You may also know that she recently received her PhD. But what I'm betting you don't know is what she does at work all day. I can comfortably bet that, since I have no idea what she does at work all day and when she tries to explain it to me my eyes glaze over and the sound of the Deliverance banjo begins to run through my head.

Deedle-dee doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo...

If you ask her to tell you what she does, she's usually polite and tries to make it simple enough for us lay-people to understand (black dogs in vests at midnight and all that) and she'll leave you with the impression that all she does at work is read papers and write papers until you lose all the original perceptions you ever had of scientists. (These are usually courtesy of Looney Tunes and involve wild hair and smoking test tubes).

So here's an anecdote I heard over dinner last night. I'll ease you into the conversation... (warning: terms of endearment may be mushier than they appear).

"So honey-bear, what'd you do at work today?"

"Well, pookie-poo, I read a paper. And then I went to my lab and put a solution into a machine with a complicated name that no one uses, but instead just uses initials like people do for everything they don't understand, like the CIA or the YMCA or the WNBL." (PS, it's called a mass spectrometer. See baby, I listen!) (Continuing on...)

"That's nice, sugar-plum. Did anything else yawn interesting happen?"

"Well, there was an explosion."

Just like that. Bam. Bit of a conversation stopper.

Say what? An explosion? I looked her over. She seemed fine. Demi Moore or Bruce Willis weren't anywhere in the room (isn't that fun? Two completely different pop culture references that have their own, unimportant connection. It's like Six Degrees of Jason Vikse!), so maybe it was just a little explosion. Less of an Enola Gay mushroom cloud and more of a Wile E. Coyote fizzle. I asked her.

"Well, they could feel it on the floor above, so it wasn't small."

This happened in a lab on the same floor as Krista's office. Luckily, it wasn't in her Chemistry lab, it was in a Pathology lab and no one was hurt, as far as we know. This picture is the building she works in. Notice that it still stands.

But the best part was, this was no big deal. Normal happenings at work. Nothing to write home about. It's just a part of the work environment. If your office shakes, there was an explosion. If your husband is doing the laundry and finds holes in your clothes, well, acid happens. Makes the average workplace seem a paradise of health and safety, doesn't it!?

Next time I might just keep my card-board cuts to myself.

So, what about you, dear reader? What crazy workplace near-catastrophes have you witnessed, been involved in, or heard about from a friend of a friend of a friend? Feel free to leave a comment below and share!

(PS, the new comment section is having a few bugs, so write up your comment, then copy it, in case it doesn't work. Paste it in the comment field that arises, and it'll work that time if it didn't work the first! Thanks y'all!)

What you got, readers? Bring it on! Please leave your message after the beep.

BEEP!

Christmas in July (Kind Of)

2011-11-09T11:29:00.002+11:00

Let me show you all a little something. I don't know what the weather is like where you are. I'd guess snow for many of you, at least a little bit. After all, it is November. Almost Christmas time. And the decorations are going up, in spite of Remembrance Day not having gone by yet (any thoughts on that, by the way?). Well, here in the Eastern half of the Southern Hemisphere, it's getting to be Christmas-time too. And while that doesn't mean snow, the true meaning of Christmas still shines through. You know what I mean. Santa Claus. Gaudy decorations. Stars made of Garland and whatnot. But it just doesn't have the same effect, to my eye, when the light glinting off the decorations isn't cold and blue and reflected off the snow. Instead, it looks like this...

Nice, right? But just not the same.

Also, remember how last time I'd not gotten a call about the show I'd interviewed to direct? Well, I got the call about 34 minutes after I'd posted the blog, and those of you who are on Facebook now already know, I'm going to be directing a production of Jekyll & Hyde for a company here in Melbourne. Fun!

Also, I finished my book. Now to see if anyone wants to publish it. And if not, what to do with it, I wonder? If any of you have connections I can use shamelessly, now's the time!

So, a short post this time. Not much new happening, but hopefully yours truly will find some work soon and then I can blog incessantly about how I want to go back to being blissfully unemployed!

Until then...

Please include in your care packages: Seasoned Spitz (not Salted, Seasoned), those little box spider traps, and some puzzles. (We've taken to puzzles recently. Cause that's the kind of people we are.)

Stories About Stories

2011-10-28T11:38:00.000+11:00

Hello all, how you goin'? (That's what you say here; not how're you doing. How you goin'. Just so you know for when you come to visit.)

It's windy here today. Like, super-windy. Like, freakishly-windy. Like, behold-I-stand-at-the-door-and-knock, the-end-of-the-world-is-at-hand, why-did-all-my-lights-suddenly-turn-off-windy.

I like the wind.

So, enough of the weather report. What's new with us? I'll tell you what's new with us.

Nothing.

Well, that's not entirely true. I still don't have work, but I'm looking. Krista is enjoying more and more her job at the uni. (That's what you call it here; not the university. The uni. Just so you know for when you come to visit.)

I have forgotten the last few blogs to tell you one of the best things we've discovered about Australia. The chocolate. You know those dairy milk bars you can buy at the grocery store? Hazelnut, Mint, Macadamia, or just plain Milk Chocolate? The ones that cost anywhere from $3.50 to $5.99? The cost two bucks here. In fact, our local shop (that's what you call them here; not stores. Shops. Just so you know for when you come to visit) had a nice little sale on recently. $3.00 for two.

Life is good in Melbourne.

But that's another story. We had people over for the first time last Saturday. Krista invited all her new work buddies for brunch, so our little place that is so empty of furniture was at last full of people. We had egg'n'bacon english muffins, croissants, fruit salad, a hefty assortment of crackers, cheeses and meats, with some maple cookies and candies for dessert, and as the main course, crepes, with many toppings: the classic brown sugar/cinnamon mix, a homemade raspberry sauce, honey and lemon, Nutella, and strawberries and whipped cream. I don't have to tell you, it went over like gangbusters.

I had to leave the party early though, to go for an interview. But, this interview was not for a job. Well, not a paying job, anyways. It was to direct a show. Jekyll & Hyde. Wonderful story. I did lots of prep, designed a set, thought carefully about characters and casting and vision and whatnot, and had a very nice little interview. Unfortunately, that was on Sunday, and I haven't heard back. (It's Friday here. Not Thursday. Just so you know for when you come visit.) I thought maybe my darling accent would lean them in my direction. Better luck next time! The prep work and set design can go into my portfolio for now and whipped out at a moment's notice at a later date.

As for our other leisure activities (since that's what I like to write about because that's what you like to read about), my reading list has grown, and I have broken my record. So far, this year, I've read 111 books, surpassing last year's 106. At the end of the year I'll be posting the full list for those interested. And also for those not interested, although they won't have to read the whole thing. Anyone out there have a great suggestion for a great book to read? (Fiction, if you please. Life is too short for non-fiction.)

Speaking of books, let me tell you a little story. As perhaps some of you may know, I have made a habit recently of writing short stories. Some of them are good. Some of them are mediocre. Some of them are great! Well, I started another one awhile ago. It started in my mind as a title. A title without a story. The title percolated for a month or two before I had the idea that would follow it. I jotted down some notes (with the help of a few co-workers) and started it back in Victoria. By the time we'd moved away and were living in Kelowna, it was over nine pages, and was no longer going to be a short story. It was a long story. Last week it passed 20,000 words and became a novella. Now I've dropped all pretense. I'm writing a book. A short book, but a book none-the-less. I'm not planning on becoming a millionaire by it, but I am going to at least send it around the publishing houses to see what happens. That won't be for awhile, there's writing still to do and editing to follow, but keep your eyes peeled at your local bookstore. Who knows?

So, there you have it. We neither of us has been bitten by a deadly spider or poisonous snake since we arrived. Australia has been kind to us, and with October nearing completion, one month of our two year contract is over. Our time here is 4% over already!

I leave you with a final direction. Please comment on the blog if you like it. Also if you don't. If no one is reading this, then I'm not going to write it, and as an artist, I crave validation. Special props to Lyman and Moira for their consistency, which far surpasses mine.

Until next time, adios pepe! (That is not what they say here. Not at all. Just so you know for when you come to visit. Just please, don't all come at the same time. We're out of crepes.)

Building a Life, One Allen Key Twist at a Time.

2011-10-05T18:05:00.001+11:00

Dear Reader,

You know what I think the best thing about October is? (Besides Krista's birthday?) There's no Christmas! You see, in my old job, I'd have already been working Christmas for over a month by now, but not this year! Sigh... isn't it great when a holiday can be a holi-day, and not a holi-six months? Speaking of holidays, I wonder if they do Halloween here?...

But you aren't here to read a collection of my thoughts on random things- oh, wait. You say that's exactly why you're here? Well then... read on.

First, a bit of trivia. The area we live in, quaintly called Moonee Ponds, was the original neighbourhood of fictional character, Dame Edna. Make of that what you will.

So, since I last blogged (seriously, they have to come up with a better verb than that. Saying I just "blogged" sounds like I just did something that involves bodily fluids. Just for today, let's say "informed" instead.)

So, since I last informed you all about what was happening in our lives down here, a few interesting things have occurred. One is that our place is mostly furnished now. A cost-effective trip to Ikea solved most of our problems, and while our place isn't full, it's now got the bare necessities. Which, I've heard, will come to you if you look for them. Much like baseball players to a creepily sentimental cornfield. Wait, that's if you build it...

Speaking of building, the most interesting point about Ikea is that the furniture is self-assembled. So when you order a house-full, they deliver a lot of heavy, flat boxes. And then they put them on your living room floor. And then they leave. It took me six hours to furnish our house, and I thought my hands may never recover. (The most recent prognosis is good, I will hopefully be able to conduct backstage again soon). The day after, our refrigerator and washing machine arrived. Life was good once more.

Hey, remember the Stanley Cup Final? And the consequences thereof? Well, let me tell you a story about an Australian game called Australian Rules Football, or more commonly, Aussie Rules, or even more commonly, footy. Footy is to Melbourne what hockey is to Canada. Not all of Australia is gung-ho about footy, but Melbourne certainly is. In fact, almost all of the footy teams in the country come from the various precincts in Melbourne. Footy is basically a fast-moving game with elements of American football, rugby, basketball, and capture-the-flag all mixed in. Anyways, the point is, the Grand Final (think Stanley Cup Final) was last Saturday. So, being new to the country, and wanting to soak up the local culture, Krista and I decided to watch it. And since we don't have a TV, we had a choice. A nice sports pub, with soft booths, warm food, and a roof over our heads, watching on a big screen surrounded by dozens of cheering fans, or a spot in Federation Square, an open-air stage area in the City, sitting on a concrete step in the freezing rain watching the game on a huge screen with hundreds of cheering fans. Needless to say, we chose the latter and at 10:30 AM (game time was 2:00) were sitting in plastic ponchos, guarding our seats from the other fans, and constantly asking questions of the unfortunate folks sitting next to us. "What are the rules?" "How do they score?" "Why didn't they stop play when that guy dislocated his shoulder and the medics came out to help him off and everyone just kept running around them?" We decided to cheer for Geelong (pronounced Dje-long) and not for Collingwood (pronounced Collingwood), because the people educating us were cheering for Geelong, and it seemed only polite. And our team won! After the game, everyone cheered or didn't cheer, as the case may be, and left. To their homes, to the pub, to work, I don't know where they went or what they did, but I'll tell you what they didn't do. They didn't loot, pillage, plunder, burn, destroy, break, flip, crash, attack, or generally make jackasses of themselves. Even though there was a strong rivalry between these two teams, after the game everyone was friends again. Even the most hard-core, face-painted, team-colour-wearing, homemade-instrument-blowing, shouting-at-the-screen-even-though-the-only-people-that-can-hear-you-are-standing-next-to-you-and-cheering-for-the-other-team kind of fan was as cheerful as could be expected at the end. It seems in Australia, games are supposed to be fun. Imagine that.

In any case, it was vastly enjoyable, and the people we were sitting near were thrilled to have the chance to convert some foreigners to footy, and a pair of musicians (trumpet and tuba) that travelled through the crowd playing team songs...

(yup, each team has a team song. They all go something like this:

We are Geelong, the greatest team of all.
We are Geelong, we're always on the ball.
We play the game, as it should be played,
at home or far away.
Our banners fly high, from dawn to dark,
down at Kardinia Park!
(To the tune of The Toreador March from Carmen)

Seriously. Look it up.)

...was also able to play the first few lines of Oh, Canada. They were very pleased with themselves, and sang it next. Of course, they thought the words started off:

Oh Canada,
Oh Ca-a-a-na-da.

I can only imagine how they thought it ended.

We congratulated them, and then I asked them to sing it in French. They played the Collingwood song instead. We clapped to be polite.

Last bit of interest. We went to the casino. Gambling is a huge thing here! We live a short ways from one of the racetracks in the city. I read an article that said gambling is one of the biggest industries here. The casino (there are plenty, but this is THE CASINO, you know what I mean.) is large and fancy, and we walked through it to enjoy the hypnotic looks on the faces of the button-pushers at the slot-machines. Well, we thought to ourselves, anything this addicting can't be ALL bad, right? We had a chunk of cash on us, so we decided to try our luck. I won 60 cents, and then promptly lost it. We sure learned our lesson.
All our cash.
Gone.

That's three dollars we'll never get back.

So, all told, we're having a good time. As always, you get to hear the good bits, but now I have to go deal with the real-life parts. Until I find work, I'm the house-husband, and I have to go start dinner, and I'm pretty sure the washing machine just buzzed.

Until next time, dear reader,

Oh, Canada, Oh Ca-a-a.
Na!
DA!!!!!
(Cymbals crash, people applaud. You sit down again, mashing your toque onto your head and digging into your poutine through the hole in your mittens. DE-FENCE! Clapclapclap. DE-FENCE! Clapclapclap...)

Far Shores: Episode Two: Unpack of the Homes

2011-09-24T23:24:00.001+10:00

Ok, so here's a more detailed continuation of my previous blog/our lives in Melbourne. It's been a week since I last posted a real blog, and honestly, not too much has happened since then. Oh, I know, we're in another country. The country all you you want to visit sometime in your life. The country some of you are planning to visit now that we live here and you have an excuse to visit. But still, life is life, and we aren't on vacation, as much as it may seem like that sometimes. We've tried to infuse our lives here with a healthy dosing of fun, but between all the shopping and exploring and dining is finding a bank and a grocery store and buying appliances and selling a condo and generally being busy with life, so don't envy us a vacation. We could use one!

Anyways, having said all that, since the last post we have had a few changes. The most significant of which is a home, in that we now have one. Yup, we've moved out of the spare room provided by our Slovakian friend, and have found a place all of our very own. Here's Jason with the full story...

So, we started looking online for two-bedroom places near the University, or near transit that goes to the University, since the only thing we know for sure at this point is that that's where Krista will be working. Other than that, it's all pretty much up in the air. So, we found about seven places that we liked enough to contact their realtors, all centred around two areas of the city; North Melbourne and Moonee Ponds. We contacted the realtors, viewed a few, saw one twice, and decided that it was the one for us. As has been the case for the last three places we've lived in, we went back to the very first place we saw. Funny how it always works that way. In any case, we went, we saw, and we did the paperwork. Two days later, we were moved in. It was just me, Krista, and four suitcases. And all of a sudden it hit us. Here we are. With nothing but each other. Here goes!

Well, since then we've done some more paperwork, taken some security pictures so that when we leave we don't get blamed for anything that's already there, and done some necessity-shopping. It's funny how many things you need to start up a household that you just don't think of when you've had you're own place for a while, or are moving with your old possessions. I guess that's why we chose a city with two Ikeas in it. Yup. Two. We've had to go shopping for everything from an alarm clock to a fridge, hangers to a washing machine, door-stoppers to a sofa. Every time we buy something that is sitting in storage in Canada, a little part of my soul dies. We're now the proud owners of a new set of dishes, a pot, a pan, an inflatable mattress, two folding chairs, two plush faux-leather stools, and some kitchen appliances, among a few other sundry items. Thank goodness for K-mart! Oh yes, there's a K-mart here, in fact there are a few. Wonderful stores for little odds and ends. Oh sure, lots of the stuff isn't the best quality in the world, but if it's cheaply made, it's cheaply priced, and so I'll say it again: Thank goodness for K-mart!

Speaking of K-mart, let's talk about location. Our apartment is located in Moonee Ponds, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia. There, that should be enough for you to Google Map us but not enough to steal our identities. Within a two-block radius are our bank, a post office (postie in Strine), two grocery stores, a K-mart, a mall, a library, a police station, a beautiful park, a public swimming pool and community centre, a theatre (kind of like a less self-important MacPherson), a few churches, a performing arts school, a Lego store (I'm not kidding!), a bus route exchange, a few tram lines, a train station, a tonne of clothing shops, butchers, fresh fruit and veg shops, specialty and decor shops, and more restaurants and cafes then you can shake a stick at. Two follow up points to that last one. Yes, I'm serious. Sometimes is seems like there are more in our neighbourhood than in the CRD. Secondly, if you ever read anything about Melbourne and how it has more restaurants per square whatever than any other city, take that particular publication very seriously. Also if you hear that they take their coffee very seriously here. I can honestly say that on one road in our neighbourhood alone, not even a long road (3 minutes walk from end to end if you stop at a stall to look at some discounted item on the way), there are at least 10 cafes, some with only a shop or two in between them. And they're all always patronized. It's the same with restaurants, although then you could always argue that the multicultural-ness of this city means that lots of them serve different food, so the higher number is explained. Except that we have multiples of Thai food, Indian food, Japanese food, Italian food, and Chinese food in that same area. We could honestly eat out for every meal, and it would take us weeks to months just to cover our neighbourhood, and years and years and years to cover the city. Since we are fridgeless, we've eaten out a fair bit (not always, but we only eat in when we aren't planning on doing serious cooking or keeping leftovers) and we've eaten twice at one place once. That's including stopping for coffee. I can't even describe it. It's an adventurous food-lover's paradise. In the meantime thought, you'll have to make do with me.

Since we're talking about adventurous eating, allow me to ensnare you with my follow-up adventures. When we last heard from our hero, we left him with a belly full of Lebanese fare, and the readers with a taste for more. Unless you don't know me well, in which case you're wondering why this is a big deal, in which case I'm wondering why you're reading this. I'm a bit of a picky eater.
Ok, I'm a very picky eater.
Ok, I'm a VERY picky eater.

Shut up.

The night before we moved out, our hostess decided to cook us and a few of Krista's co-workers a home-cooked meal. But not the kind of home-cooked meal you eat that was cooked at home. The kind of home-cooked meal that you eat that was cooked at home but that is made from recipes that were handed down from other people that cooked at home. In other countries. What I'm trying to say is that we had a home-cooked Slovakian meal. Did I lose anyone there? Knödel, sauerkraut, some sort of salad with peppers (sorry, capsicum), and boiled potatoes. A few nights later it was Thai fusion (although what it was supposed to be fused with was never clear. Chinese maybe?, but I only say that because the menu was glued over pages of a Kung-Fu Panda children's book). Pad thai and some veggie and rice dish. We weren't too thrilled. Next time we'll try the curry. We've also had more normal (for me) fare, like Italian. Some nice pizzas here in restaurants. Nice pastas too.

Ok, more interesting blog topics, I hope. We took the train for the first time today. The first half was in the city (that`s The City, or downtown for you North Americans), then it moved out into the various precincts. So at the beginning it was actually a subway, then emerged like a... I was going to be poetic and say, "like a phoenix from the ashes," or "like a breaching whale from the depths," or "like a beam of sunshine from behind the clouds." But really it emerged like a train.

Last interesting thing. Krista starts work officially on Monday, although she's been in to see people and have meetings already. I start looking for work soon too, and so we decided to have a great day out to celebrate our being where we are. So we went to a theatre and saw Love Never Dies. And it was magnificent. The set was unreal, a Stage Manager's dream or nightmare, depending on whether it worked that day. And did it ever! The costumes and lighting and talent of people onstage was stunning. The orchestra was phenomenal. It was like they'd played the music before. Oh... wait... In any case, it was a real treat, and because the box office girl was bored, she told us that if we came back two hours before the show, tickets were cheaper. And since the show had already been running for months and it wasn't going to be too busy (don't get me wrong, the theatre wasn't empty, it was pretty darn full) we did and got the tickets at half-price. The same price as a VOS show, as a matter of fact... take what you want from that, Victorians.

So, as I sit in our office, listening to Hugh Laurie's blues album; "Let Them Talk," that's another episode of our lives, all done. You may now change the channel-

Welcome to the 546th season of "The Amazing Race"-

I'm really flying Jack-

Bus driver! MOVE THAT BUS!-

Damn it Jim, I'm a doctor, not a-

--CLICK--

Trading Victorias

2011-09-16T22:27:00.000+10:00

Dear Western/Northern Hemisphere Dwelling Followers,

Today I write to you from my temporary bedroom in a temporary house in a temporary city. No longer do I write from Saanich, Victoria, Canada. For now the home base is Melbourne, Victoria, Australia. Here’s the story so far... (in some detail...)

After three weeks of Canadianizing (that means doing Canadianish stuff like swimming, boating, rodeoing, and drinking lots of wine, among other things), we got in my parents car at 7:30 on the morning of September 12, and drove over the mountains to Vancouver. Once at the airport, we ate (a mistake on my part, as the burger I had made me sick) and then started our journey through security and customs. It’s interesting that one can measure their journey just as easily by the people one encounters on it as by the distance one travels.

Canada to America – Welcome to the safest nation on earth. Although I actually thought that Australian security was more thorough, American security still seems by far the meanest. I’m pretty sure their motto is “Don’t S.M.I.L.E” (Smiling Means Inviting Lots of Enemies). But sure, they can be rude; I mean after all, they’re Americans, right? Once we’d survived the hand-swiping, question-asking, bag-checking good times, and were officially on American soil, we relaxed (though thanks to my burger I spent most of my time relaxing in the bathroom) and waited for our flight to be called. No problems there, up in the air we went and down we came a few hours later, the not-so-subtle neon glow of LA welcoming us back to the ground.

America to Australia – We disembarked with our carry-ons and headed across the terminal, down the hall, to the right, all the way down, then all the way back, to the left, into another terminal, asked directions, went back, went left, went all the way down again, exited the building, went right, entered another building, found Quantas, followed the signs to the right, down the hall to another security line. We went through another bout of security measures, punctuated by a plethora of “no worries” (yup, they really do say that. Lots. We’ve also got a “no drama” for your consideration.) Down another hall and to the left, then down a flight of stairs was the boarding area for our final flight to Melbourne. At this point we went and asked if there were any upgrades available (we figured for a few hundred more, we might be bumped up a class and that would make the 17 hour flight more comfortable. Alas, Quantas does not do upgrades. Except at full price.

The Long Flight – We left the terminal and boarded one of two two-part busses that drove us and our fellow passengers and our carry-ons to a separated terminal farther down the airfield. We all unloaded, and walked up a few flights of stairs before finally boarding our aircraft. We walked past all the lucky business classers (first class, or premium we couldn’t see, they were a floor above us so as not to get dirty by association with the riffraff. Man I’m jealous). Our seats were near the back of the aircraft, so we shuffled our way there and stowed our stuff. One girl a few seats ahead of us brought on 4 carry-ons, which the flight attendants were not at all happy about (rule is one per person). We watched the in-flight safety demonstration, and took off for a long flight.

Luckily, we were never bored. Oh, nothing crazy happened, we just had lots to do to fill the time. Soon after we took off they served us dinner (chicken cacciatore or mahi mahi fish with potatoes, both served with mixed veggies, a bun, a caramel dessert, a piece of dark chocolate, a cup of purified water, and your choice of drink, hard, soft, or juicy. Then came the coffee or tea. After that, it was either sleep time or TV time, depending on what time zone you came from I suppose. We chose TV, then sleep took over. (But not before we were served our snack pack to hold us over until breakfast! A bag of chips, two chocolates, some sort of snack bar thingy and a bottle of water.) We woke up from time to time because sleeping sitting up isn’t the most comfortable thing in the world, even though the seat does slightly recline. Still, we got our rest. In the morning (to us) they served us breakfast. Our choice of cereal and milk or an omelette with mushrooms and peppers. Both options came with a bowl of fruit, orange juice, and an orange/cranberry muffin. Then coffee or tea again. Just enough time to catch another movie, and the pilot told the attendants to prepare for landing. We had arrived.

Australia – Disembarking was no problem; we made our way down a few more halls to the immigration area. Much politer than the Americans, the Australians are. They had all the checks the Statesians had, asked all the same questions, they even had sniffer dogs, but we felt much more at ease there. We declared what we had to declare, and they sent us on our way. Australian soil, at last.

We were picked up by a co-worker of Krista’s, who was wearing a winter coat and a scarf. We were quite comfortable in our t-shirts. I have a feeling summer here is going to be quite hot. He thought our comfort was hilarious. Crazy Canadians. He drove us to our place (Krista tried to get in the driver’s seat, forgetting that it wasn’t the passenger seat here). Our hostess welcomed us in, made us a cup of tea, and then left for work. It was now 10:00 AM. September 14.

We got comfortable, took a walk around our neighbourhood, opened up a bank account, you know, the usual first-day-in-a-new-country routine. The greeter at the bank was delighted that we’re Canadian, and told us a wonderful little story about a friend of his that was just deported back to Canada, to that city... which city you ask? He wasn’t sure either. So he asked us what the big city in Canada is. No joke. “What’s the big city in Canada?” I almost cried. We told him it was Peace River, pop. 763. Less if you don’t count the stray dogs. We also went to look at phones, which is where we were first mistaken for Americans. And so it begins.

So that’s it. So far. We’re here, we have lots to do, but we aren’t panicking yet. There’s plenty of time for that later. First, it’s time for breakfast.

Update – We’ve had a few more days here now, and a few more experiences. Things that are different in Australia: light switches flip up for off, down for on. Doritos taste like Arribas. Birds are noisier. Like seriously noisier. You can be in the middle of the city and it sounds like the rainforest. Speaking of the city, when you go downtown, don’t say you’re going downtown. Say you’re going to the city. Downtown is a North-Americanism. Bacon isn’t bacon. It’s slices of fatty ham. Really. Ask Krista if you don’t believe me. You have to walk on the other side of the sidewalk or you bump into everyone. Pop comes in smaller, more drinkable bottles. Ketchup isn’t ketchup, or catsup, it’s tomato sauce. That’s To-MAH-To sauce. They’ve never heard of Canadian wine. These are just a few things.

Went to the Melbourne Zoo today. Very nice zoo. Lots of animals. Lots of kids. Apparently, all schools have school uniforms. We’ve seen them downtown (sorry, in the city) and around everywhere. If you are a kid in school, you wear a uniform. Took the tram around. Trams are like busses that run in the middle of the road. To catch one, you also have to run in the middle of the road. Which is fine, as long as you remember from which direction the traffic is coming.

Food prices are, if anything, lower than those in Victoria, as far as we can tell. Chocolate noticeably so. Tomorrow we go apartment hunting.

The accent has been an interesting thing to get used to. I’m slipping into it already, and Krista rolls her eyes every time I do (but I only do it when I’m surrounded by it!) The girl we’re living with is Slovakian, and the fellow who picked us up at the airport is Lebanese, so we’ve been hearing lots of accents, the least of them Australian.

Speaking of Lebanese, I just got back from a Lebanese restaurant. The real kind, not the fake westernized version. We let this fellow order for us, and had hummus, baba ghanoush, and some sort of yoghurt with some sort of flatbread (some of it fried with oregano). That was followed by a parsley salad with tomatoes, onions, and some sort of vinaigrette, and then falafel. Next came the raw mutton, minced with ground wheat and spices. This was to be spread on bread, then flavoured with a spread of puffed garlic. The owner told me it will add two years to my life span. After we finished he told me I looked younger already. Lastly came the lamb and chicken kebabs. It was a culinary adventure.

As of now, it’s tricky for me to get onto the internet, so I’ll be a bit sporadic with my postings until we’re set up in a place of our own. (What else is new!) Until that time...

This Update is Shorter Than a One-Night Stand When One of the Participants Accidently Goes to the Wrong Hotel.

2011-04-23T08:40:00.004+10:00

Alright, I suppose three months is long enough to require an update. So here goes...

Nothing to report.

Just kidding! But seriously, there are only a few new things in our lives. Luckily they're relatively big news. No, we aren't pregnant.

What we are is moving.
Hopefully.
From Victoria.
To Victoria.
Here's the catch.
The Victoria we're planning to move to isn't a city.
It's a state.
In a country.
Called Australia.

Yup, if all goes according to plan, we'll be headed for the great Down-Under sometime in the fall! To Melbourne! Krista and I are considering moving there for a few years! Could be quite an adventure! We're wading through red-tape and legal this-n-that right now, but we're hopeful! I know what you're all thinking... "but Jason, how are you going to collect old Canadian Coins from Australia?" Good question. I'm kinda hoping some of my readers will stay on the lookout on my behalf... (insert puppy-dog eyes here).

Other than those plans, life has been pretty steady here on the island. Krista is in the middle of writing up her thesis, and I'm in full-on director mode. Little Women opens June 9, and I'm almost finished with Act One. Lots left to do, but my cast is incredible, and everything seems to be coming together! You should definately come see this one!

No more time right now to write, if you want to hear more about any of this (why we chose Australia, why it took a full month to cast my show, etc.?) you can contact me and I'll fill you in on the details. Until then, don't forget this little word of wisdom: True Love is combing the food crumbs of the beard of the one you love. Even if she's sleeping.

Stats, Lists, and Fun Facts of 2010

2011-01-04T17:38:00.005+11:00

Did you know... 98.7% of blog writers with an active following blog an average of once per week?
Did you know... 14.6% of blog readers that follow a blog check that blog once per week?
Did you know... 0% of this blog's writer has an excuse for not writing for the last 6 months?
Did you know... I just made up all those stats?

Welcome back, Jason! I assume you don't need a welcome, since you all must have been checking this site daily for updated information on the life and times of Jason. I'm glad to be back, reporting on the comings and goings of the island-dwelling Vikse clan.

So, here I sit, listening to some opera, debating how much of my life to share with you, considering whether or not the minutia of my life will be of any interest to you at all, or if at the very least it will make you feel better about your own life. Either way, you're reading it, and like I always say, a writer that a reader reads is a writer worth reading indeed.

Speaking of reading, I'm sure you're all anxiously awaiting the results of my now infamous New Year's Resolution. 100 books read? Did he do it!? Answer: of course he did. Reading list? Done.

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas - John Boyne
The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
Digital Fortress - Dan Brown
The Thirteenth Tale - Diane Setterfield
The Lost Symbol - Dan Brown
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society - Mary Ann Shaffer & Annie Barrow
Conversations in Cairo - Noel Hynd
Little Women/Good Wives - Louisa May Alcott
A Thousand Splendid Suns - Khaled Hosseini
Swope's Ridge - Ace Connelly
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time - Mark Haddon
Dracula - Bram Stoker
Wonders Never Cease - Tim Downs
Thirsty - Tracey Bateman
Bel Canto - Ann Patchett
Water for Elephants - Sara Gruen
The House of Dark Shadows - Robert Liparulo
Watcher in the Woods - Robert Liparulo
Gatekeepers - Robert Liparulo
Timescape - Robert Liparulo
Whirlwind - Robert Liparulo
The Book of Lost Things - John Connolly
Year of Wonders: A Novel of the Plague - Geraldine Brooks
The Doppelganger Chronicles: The First Escape - G.P. Taylor
The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald
Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightening Thief - Rick Riordan
Push - Sapphire
The Doppelganger Chronicles: The Secret of the Indigo Moon - G.P. Taylor
A Short History of Nearly Everything - Bill Bryson
Dreaming the Eagle - Manda Scott
Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Sea of Monsters - Rick Riordan
Pirate Latitudes - Michael Crighton
The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
The Road - Cormac mcCarthy
Dreaming the Bull - Manda Scott
Tuesdays With Morrie - Mitch Albom
Beautiful Creatures - Kami Garcia & Margaret Stohl
Sense & Sensibility - Jane Austin
The Last Testament - Sam Bourne
Lost City - Clive Cussler
Frenzy - Robert Liparulo
Rooms - James L. Rubart
Predator - Teri Blackstock
Mutiny on the Bounty - John Boyne
Exposure - Brandilyn Collins
Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Titan's Curse - Rick Riordan
Taken at the Flood - Agatha Christie
Why Men Hate Going to Church - David Murrow
Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Battle of the Labyrinth - Rick Riordan
Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Last Olympian - Rick Riordan
Let the Great World Spin - Colum McCann
Little Bee - Chris Cleave
Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
The Taming of the Shrew - William Shakespeare
The Egyptologist - Arthur Phillips
Nightmare - Robin Parrish
Danger Close - William Boykin & Tom Morrisey
Incendiary - Chris Cleave
Dreaming the Hound - Manda Scott
The Bishop - Steven James
The Associate - John Grisham
The Crystal Skull - Manda Scott
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - J.K. Rowling
The Constantine Conspiracy - Gary Parker
Hawke - Ted Bell
Mary Poppins - P.L. Travers
Mary Poppins Comes Back - P.L. Travers
Fatal Convictions - Randy Singer
Fragment - Warren Fahy
Back on Murder - J. Mark Bertrand
Pillars of the Earth - Ken Follett
The Wizard of Oz - L. Frank Baum
Mary Poppins Opens the Door - P.L. Travers
Mary Poppins in the Park - P.L. Travers
The Skin Map - Stephen Lawhead
Last Night in Twisted River - John Irving
The 39 Clues: The Maze of Bones - Rick Riordan
The 39 Clues: One False Note - Gordon Korman
The 39 Clues: The Sword Thief - Peter Lerangis
The 39 Clues: Beyond the Grave - Jude Watson
The 39 Clues: The Black Circle - Patrick Carmen
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Body of Evidence - Max Allen Collins
The 39 Clues: In Too Deep - Jude Watson
The 39 Clues: The Viper's Nest - Peter Lerangis
The 39 Clues: The Emperor's Code - Gordon Korman
Guardians of Ga'Hoole: The Capture - Kathryn Lasky
Nightshade - Ronie Kendig
Guardians of Ga'Hoole: The Journey - Kathryn Lasky
The Book Thief - Markus Zusak
The 39 Clues: Storm Warning - Linda Sue Park
The Book of Negros - Lawrence Hill
The Twelfth Imam - Joel C. Rosenburg
As Thousands Cheer: The Life of Irving Berlin - Laurence Bergreen
The Maze Runner - James Dashner
The Gathering Storm - Robert Jordan & Brandon Sanderson
Towers of Midnight - Robert Jordan & Brandon Sanderson
The Red Pyramid - Rick Riordan
A Spot of Bother - Mark Haddon
The Almost Moon - Alice Sebold
Jo's Boys - Lousia May Alcott
Vertical Coffin - Stephen J. Cannell
Trainspotting - Irvine Welsh
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader - C.S. Lewis
The Tin Collectors - Stephen J. Cannell
The Magicians - Lev Grossman
The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde - Robert Louis Stevenson

106, all told. Go ahead, count 'em. Yup, I did it, and boy are my eyes tired! There won't be a resolution this year, that one wiped me right out.

In other news, here's the theatrical update. Wizard of Oz went great, I wore a wig that made me look like an aging, tap-dancing Bob Ross. Nuff said. Following Oz, I began rehearsals for a Christmas show called A Christmas Survival Guide, this time in the director's chair. A local hotel (The Hotel Grand Pacific) hired a local production company to put on a Christmas show for their guests, and the company hired me. It was a great experience, even though it was a revue and therefore had lots of choreography (which I also did) and not too much direction! Still, they must not have hated what I did, because the same company accepted my proposal to direct Little Women: The Musical for them this year! Auditions are in February! As a side-note in this category, in September I was voted onto the Executive Board of the VOS. I'm the head of the Future Shows Committee. We, as the name suggests, choose the shows the Society will perform each year. What fun!

I know what you're all thinking. "Why does he stay so busy? I bet his wife never sees him!" Well, that's true, but this time it's with permission, even direction to do so! With Krista a few months away from completing her PhD (I know!), she's super busy writing her thesis. She told me to stay busy, and out of her way (OK, that last bit was implicit). She took some of her own advice this December, and got out of everyone's way, by taking a week-long trip to Hawaii! Sure, it was for a conference, and sure, she was busy with chemistry the whole time... but still. Hawaii. Four months after Australia. Ahh, the closeted life of a scholar.

We did make it home for Christmas this year, for a little bit! But only just! Allow me to explain in point-form...

Krista got home at 11:30 from Hawaii. I got home at 11:30 from rehearsal. We packed (dumping out her summer clothes, and dumping in her winter clothes). We slept. We awoke at 5:30, finished packing, caught the shuttle at 7:00, got to the airport, got through security, waited for our 9:00 flight to board. 9:00 goes by. So does 9:30. And 10:00. And 10:30. Finally, they tell us to board, saying that in spite of poor weather conditions in Kelowna, "we'll try it anyways." How very confidence-inspiring. So, we fly to Kelowna, circle the airport for an hour, and get diverted to Calgary. While waiting in line at the Calgary airport to discover our fate, we get called out of the line (reason: unknown, I assume someone recognized me as "that actor fellow from Victoria! We'd better not make him wait!"), and get our info. Turns out that Westjet, in spite of having no control over the weather decided to give everyone on the plane vouchers for a hotel for the night, and food for dinner and breakfast while they brought in another plane to fly us out the next morning. So, that's what happened. We got up at 5:30 again (what a great vacation!) and got to Kelowna after an unexpected stopover in Calgary one day late, but still in time for Christmas. (Fun fact: while waiting for the shuttle to take us to our comp'd hotel in Calgary, the brooding silence of 100 misplaced passengers was shattered by a lady yelling at me across the crowd, "Hey! You're that singer aren't you!" And I was. She had recognised me from a few shows I've done in Victoria. She continued to loudly call me "The Singer" for the rest of our time together (hotel restaurants, lobbys, airports) much to my embarrassment and delight)(By the way, in case it's ever on Final Jeopardy, when someone loudly announces that you're "that singer," the surrounding people in the crowd will give you one of two looks. The first says "Ohhhh, please sing something for us!" The second says "Hide your kids, hide your wife.").

Well, that's pretty much everything! I now continue work on Little Women, and Krista goes crazy with her thesis. Until next time, just remember... you can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but under no circumstances should you ever pick your friend's nose.

Summertime... and the Livin' Is... Easier.

2010-08-08T17:24:00.003+10:00

Ahhh, summer. Time to relax, kick back, and take it easy. Which is just what I'm doing! For the first time in... let's see... three years, I think?... I'm not involved in anything theatre related over the summer! That's not to say I'm not in a show in September, I am. Maybe you've heard of it? The Wizard of Oz? I auditioned for chorus in June, which is not something I usually do, but the vocal parts for the leads weren't in my range (too low), and the director/choreographer and music director are both brilliant, and I know that I'll be challenged and stretched by working with them, even in the chorus. So, if you want to see me as a Munchkin, dancing on my knees, come to Victoria in November, and get yourself a ticket!

But as of now, I'm a lonely old man. My wife left me. For Australia. For two weeks! A work trip, on the University's dime, to be sure, but we're both hoping that she can squeeze in some tourist-ish-ness while she's there. She'll be visiting a lab that's doing the same sort of research as she's doing here. But she'd better get out of the lab and enjoy herself a few times! (I told her to bring me a piece of Ayers Rock. Is that illegal?)

So, while she's gone, and I'm not rehearsing, I have nothing to do (aside from missing her terribly) which is wonderful! I'll have time to write now! Both music and short stories (if you haven't heard any of my music and want to, some of it is posted on my Facebook page under the Tracks tab at the top). So I finished Vikse's String Quartet No. 1 in C Major. As for short stories, I sat down to write one just recently and realised that Krista must have accidently packed all my ideas, because I didn't seem to have any! So I'm asking you, if you have any great ideas for a short story, let me know!

Speaking of stories, here's my reading list since last you heard from me. Some of you may remember that my New Year's Resolution was to read 100 books this year. Last time we spoke, I had finished 40. Here's what I've read since then...

The Last Testament (Bourne), Lost City (Cussler), Frenzy (Liparulo), Rooms (Rubart), Predator (Blackstock), Mutiny on the Bounty (Boyne), Exposure (Collins), Percy Jackson books 3-5 (Riordan), Taken at the Flood (Christie), Why Men Hate Going to Church (Murrow), Let the Great World Spin (McCann), Little Bee (Cleave), Brave New World (Huxley), The Taming of the Shrew (Shakespeare), The Egyptologist (Phillips), Nightmare (Parrish), Danger Close (Boykin & Morrisey), Incendiary (Cleave), Dreaming the Hound (Scott), The Bishop (James), and The Associate (Grisham).

That makes my total 63, with two on the go. Have you read any of these? What did you think? Any suggestions for what I should read next? I'm always looking for a good book!

That's all for now, until next time, here's something for your brain to chew on...

Imaginary Bubble Gum. The gift that keeps on giving.

Reading: Motive, Means, and Opportunity.

2010-05-22T10:44:00.004+10:00

... and that's why I haven't written in so long.

So I figured that no excuse will do, so I'll just let you fill in whatever you need to to be happy.

Here's the story of my life since we last spoke...

Grease has ended. And what a ride it was. Some of you will remember I was officially on board for this production in the position of Assistant to the Director. It was a great experience, and I got to do a bit of directing on my own, which was a blast (though the cast may not agree, I'm a harsher task-master than the other director was!). Krista did a phenomenal job with props for the show, painting inside Coke bottles, carving sandwiches out of that green Styrofoam stuff used with fake plants, and supplying a cast with 50s magazines to read, among other things. So, we propped, and directed, and blablabla, until three weeks before opening. That was the night one of our chorus men informed the production team that he was going to be unavailable on the night of our student preview, the night before Opening Night, and possibly for the opening as well! I was then approached by the choreographer, who asked if I minded learning the big dance number (some of you may recall the film's big dance contest, "Born to Hand Jive") so I could perform on Preview Night. I agreed, because the fellow was one of the featured dancers, and it wouldn't have been fair to his partner, who had worked hard, to be cut from the number through no fault of her own. So, I had three weeks to learn the number the rest of the cast had three months to learn! But they all chipped in and made it easy and fun for me, so no worries there.

Preview Night came, and I performed, and then it was Opening Night. Will I be on? Won't I be on? With 12 minutes to curtain, the fellow rushed through the stage door and into make-up. I gave him his costume, wiped the make-up off my face, and headed into the audience, thinking I'd get to watch the show for the rest of the run. You know what they say about assuming.

Saturday comes along. I head down to the theatre at about 6:45, (regular call is at 6) thinking I'll chat with the cast a bit, then head up to the house. I entered through the stage door, and see the Director and Stage Manager whispering in a huddle built for two. The Director said, "There he is."

This can't end well.

Turns out, one of our Principles was sick, and had to go to the hospital. Being the only person who had been at all the rehearsals, I was officially promoted to "Understudy." I had one hour and ten minutes to learn the part, learn the blocking, get into hair and make-up and costume, and be onstage. Phew! (Again, for those of you familiar with the film, the character I played was Vince Fontaine, the radio DJ. He has a larger role in the play than in the film due to some fun little snippets of radio play during Act One). So, with script in hand, following an announcement to the audience ("Due to illness in the cast, tonight the role of Vince Fontaine will be played by Jason Vikse, on book.") I was up onstage, trying not to screw up everyone onstage with me! The tricky part was during the Hand-Jive contest, Vince judges the couples and taps them out as they dance. One wrong move and I would have got a fan-kick to the face!

But I survived, and did it again the next day, this time, off-book. Four shows, three performances, two characters. What a week. Luckily, the actor who was sick got well again, and reprised his role for the second week of the run. At the cast party, I was given an award for going "Above and Beyond" my role as Assistant to the Director. How fun! What a great experience! I mean, stressful like you wouldn't believe (!), but fun.

So, now it's Sunday night... the cast party is over... tomorrow is a brand-new day... a day to relax... a day to sleep in... a day to- no, wait, I have a rehearsal. What?!

Yup, so here's what happened. During the midsection of Grease rehearsals, a friend of mine, who was directing Annie asked me again (she had asked earlier on too, but I'd said no) to play a part in her upcoming production. Figuring that I wasn't going to be doing anything but watching shows for the two weeks of Grease, I gave in and agreed. After 6 rehearsals, Monday night was the tech run of Annie, less than 20 hours after Grease finished. No rest for the wicked. After Tech Night, and Dress Rehearsal (which I helped crew stage right for, since a crew member couldn't make it), we opened Annie in Sidney and played for a week. This past Monday was my first non-theatre night in ages, and this moment in time is the first time I'm not working on something performancy since the summer of 2008. It's weird, being able to breathe again. I'm not sure I like it. Luckily, audition season is fast approaching.

Well, that's enough of that. In other news, Krista and I went to the Times Colonist Book Sale last weekend. It's a big ol' sale, with tonnes of books that are donated by the community. The proceeds go towards literacy and education projects on the island. Krista and I got into the line of 2000 people at 7:45 AM. We were nowhere near the front. The first guy in line had been there since 3 AM! The doors opened at 9, and in we rushed, part of the most literate and educated mob I've ever had the pleasure of joining. We scoured hundreds of tables, and over 300,000 books, searching for those that called out to us. We left 2.5 hours later, with 48 books. Fiction, non-fiction, classics, comics, we bought 'em all. What a deal. By the time we left, there was a mountain of empty boxes piled to the ceiling of the Victoria Curling Club. We found out later that there were about 7000 customers in the two days the sale was on, and they made over $140,000.

So, now that we have time to read, and books to read, we needed a place to read. So we're going on a few vacations. First, we're hitting Kelowna for a few days in June, just to relax. Then, in August, Krista is heading for Australia, on a research trip funded by UVIC, for 2 weeks. She'd better bring me home a koala. Or a didgeridoo. Finally, if all goes according to plan, we'll be heading to Hawaii just before Christmas. Again, it's for a Chemistry Conference, but this time I've decided to tag along. Should get some nice reading done there. And perhaps a tan as well.

However, that's all in the future. Perhaps you'd like to hear about the past? An update on my reading list so far this year...

I've finished, since we last spoke...

Thirsty (Bateman), Bel Canto (Patchett), Water for Elephants (Gruen), House of Dark Shadows, Watcher in the Woods, Gatekeepers, Timescape, and Whirlwind (all by Liparulo), The Book of Lost Things (Connolly), Year of Wonders: A Novel of the Plague (Brooks), The Doppelganger Chronicles 1 & 2 (Taylor), The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald), Percy Jackson and the Olympians 1 & 2 (Riordan), Push (Sapphire), A Short History of Nearly Everything (Bryson), Dreaming the Eagle, Dreaming the Bull (both by Scott), Pirate Latitudes (Crighton), The Shadow of the Wind (Zafon), The Road (McCarthy), Tuesdays with Morrie (Albom), Beautiful Creatures (Garcia & Stohl), and Sense & Sensibility (Austen).

That brings my total so far this year to 40 finished, with four on the go. Any suggestions for what I should read next?

150 Reasons to Dislike the Outdoors

2010-03-16T10:43:00.003+11:00

You all know me. You know I'm not the biggest fan of the outdoors. But a list of 150 reasons to dislike it? That's a big stretch, even for me! Here's the deal. Two friends of mine recently told me that in spite of all my moaning and groaning about how much better inside was than outside, I wouldn't be able to come up with a list of 150 reasons to dislike the outdoors. So here we are.

Allow me to preface this all by saying that I don't hate the outdoors as much as it will seem after you've read this list. But a challenge was given, and must be met. So we begin.

Why do we try to convince ourselves that food tastes better when cooked over a campfire? We all know that it isn't true. Sure, it tastes good, and is certainly different, but better? Don't be silly. Food tastes better when it is cooked with the proper ingredients in a proper location; a controlled environment. What chef that knows their business would choose a campfire over a stove-top? Fluctuating flame over a controllable temperature? Not one. Good cooking, like good living is about control of your environment. There is nothing controlled about the outdoors.

The truth is, the entirety of human history is a quest. A quest to control the elements, or at the very least escape from them. First we lived in caves, then we built lean-tos, shacks, manors, castles, palaces, mansions, high-rises, and finally, the suburbs. We have spent all our lives trying to put a roof over our heads. Why? So we could enjoy the outdoors, or be separated from it? I am not saying that the outdoors is a bad place, just that it is not unreasonable to prefer the indoors, just as countless generations have done before us, and will again after we are gone. Having said all that, here is my list of 150 reasons to dislike the outdoors:

Acid Rain
Hay Fever
Rip Tides
Poisonous Berries
Sunburns
Black Mambas
Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever
Mosquitoes
Hypothermia
Tarantulas
Quicksand
Sea Anemones
Snow Blindness
Hyenas
Black Widows
Melanoma
Killer Bees
Ogopogo
Malaria
Poison Dart Frogs
Heat Stroke
Crocodiles
Nothing Good Ever Happened Outside for Wile E. Coyote
Slugs
Pneumonia
The Food Chain
Fleas
Lionfish
Poison Oak
Ticks
Nettles
Pythons
Getting Crushed by a Falling Tree
Thorns
Vampire Bats
Envenomization
Flash Floods
Snail Slime
Puddles That Were Deeper Than You Thought They Were
Wolf Spiders
Poison Ivy
Bigfoot
Wasps
Falling Bird Poop
Stinkbugs
Poisonous Mushrooms
Shark Attacks
The Heat
The Cold
Sporotrychosis
Leeches
Falling Through the Ice
Leopards
Wind-Blown Hair
Cow Patties
Ice Storms
Treehuggers
Wet Socks
Gravity
Pebbles in Your Shoe
Tree Sap
Rabies
Box Jellyfish
Getting Struck by Lightening
Army Ants
Sand: It Gets Everywhere
Dengue Fever
Scorpions
Horse Flies
Red Back Spiders
Hail the Size of Golf Balls
Getting Your Shoe Stuck in the Mud
Giant Squid
Sleet
Pollution
Forest Fires
Cougars
The Teddy Bears' Picnic
Rattlesnakes
Being Trampled by Buffalo
Hidden Crevasses
Yeti
Inverted Umbrellas
What is a Pet Indoors is a Disease Carrier Outdoors
The Black Plague
Alligators
Swallowing Bugs
Asian Cobras
The Smell of Squished Worms
Herds of Rampaging Baboons
Burrs
Ash Clouds
Badgers
Stepping in Dog Poop
Man O' Wars
Arboviral Diseases
Boa Constrictors
Lyme Disease
Tar Pits
Recreational Water Illnesses
Grizzly Bears
Wolf Packs (Also, Lone Wolves)
Seaweed
Angler Fish
Lions
Getting Splashed by a Car
Bumble Bees
Moths
Dust Storms
Swans
Falling Down a Mine Shaft
Rattlesnakes
The Movie "Jaws"
Photosynthetic Toilet Paper
Sparks Burning a Hole in Your Jeans
Going Blind Staring at the Sun
Getting Your Tongue Stuck to the Flagpole
Anacondas
Sting Rays
Grubs
Venus Flytraps
Accidentally Walking Through a Spiderweb and Having it on Your Arm All Day and You Can't Seem to Grab it and Get it Off
Falling Overboard
Guano
Lack of a Wireless Signal
Drizzling Rain
Humidity
Tigers
Icebergs
Pollen Clouds
Territorial Birds
The Rabbits at UVIC
Charging Rhinos
Orca Whales
Funnel Web Spiders
Poop in the Sandbox
Warthogs
Lahar
Getting Cut By Blade Grass
Solar Flares
Stepping on Gum
Magpies Stealing Your Shiny Valuables
Expensive Outdoor Gear
Earwigs
Being Cursed for Walking on Ancient Burial Grounds
Barracuda
The Smell of Decaying Leaves
Tan Lines
Plagues of Locusts
Being Outdoors Didn't Work Out Too Well For Bambi's Mom, Did It?

Don't even get me started.

A City of Two Tails

2010-02-20T13:06:00.002+11:00

Yup, we did it. Two months and 10 days later, the mourning period has ended and life has moved on. And we have a special treat for you all. We've expanded our family by adding two new members. They're very small, very cute, and very... rattish. That's right, we bought two new rats. Pictures will soon be up on Facebook, and the world will be introduced to Clio and Calliope (Ka-LIE-o-pee, Callie for short). Like our dear departed Persephone, their names were taken from Greek mythology. Clio and Calliope were two of the Muses; daughters of Zues and inspirers of artists. We've set them up in the "little cage," until they grow big enough to go into the "manor house." They're still very timid, and unsure of us as people, and spend a good chunk of their time sleeping and playing together. That's the biggest reason we got two. Rats are very social creatures, and they'll entertain each other so that we won't feel guilty when we're at rehearsal all night. They won't even notice we're gone!

I don't know if you've heard, but the 2010 Olympic Winter Games are being held in Vancouver this year. Which is just across the strait from us. As the capital of BC, we've therefore been steeped in Olympic fever, hot and cold. For every Canadian flag flying along the highway, there's a full-on protest filling up the downtown streets. Krista and I have been watching more this year than any other, and my feelings are this: yes, the BC government could have spent the money better elsewhere, for example on the homeless issue that is ravagin our province. But let's be honest, if they hadn't had an impetus like the Games, would they ever have spent so much on anything, especially the homeless? No. Besides, the money is already spent. So, though I agree with the general principle of most of the protesters, I don't see the point in protesting. As for me, I'll say my bit here, and then proceed to continue enjoying the Games and cheering for our athletes (a word I insist should have three syllables). GO CANADA!

What's that you said? An update on my reading list for the year? Why sure! Since you last read my words, I've finished Sebold's "The Lovely Bones," Setterfield's "The Thirteenth Tale," Brown's "The Lost Symbol" and "Digital Fortress," Shaffer and Barrow's "The Guernsey Literary and Potatoe Peel Pie Society," Hynd's "Conversations in Cairo," Alcott's "Little Women," Hosseini's "A Thousand Splendid Suns," Connelly's "Swope's Ridge," Haddon's "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time," Stoker's "Dracula," and Downs' "Wonders Never Cease." I'm currently reading Patchett's "Bel Canto" and Bateman's "Thirsty." What should I read next?

Not that I have time to read. Grease rehearsals keep both Krista and I pretty busy. Between her doing props, and my doing all sorts of things (I'm also assisting in the teaching of the choreography, not just in directing) we've been trying to slow down somw other things in our lives. I resigned my position as the Secretary of the Board of Directors of the Victoria Youth Musical Theatre Society after a year-long term. But Grease is going really, really well, and I'm having lots of fun!

That's all for now, feel free to check out Facebook for pics of Clio and Calliope!

Dead Before It Hit The Floor.

2010-02-07T07:12:00.003+11:00

I just returned from the Annual General Meeting of our building's strata. Now, normally I try to stay out of Strata Council business, because it's so often political nonsense, but this time I went to add my vote. An amendment to one of our by-laws was being proposed that I vehemently opposed. The amendment read as follows; "To maintain the adult oriented nature of the strata corporation, no person under the age of 55 years may reside in or visit to a strata lot for a period of more than 21 consecutive days or a total of 60 days in any twelve month period without written permission of the council or as otherwise permitted under the Human Rights Code." The change was to the age restriction, which before was 18 as opposed to 55.

Now, I can only guess as to why this proposition was raised, but I assume that some of the younger owners in our building have been being young and foolish in visible places, and have annoyed some of the older residents. In any case, I thought that turning our building into a senior's complex was a drastic move. Please note, this amendment would not mean that Krista and I had to leave, just that we couldn't sell to anyone under 55 when we do. That's a huge cut to our market when we decide to move, especially in a university city.

My first thought was "ageism." Was it legal to even consider doing this? I researched online and discovered that in BC, one can't discriminate by age when renting a property, but is legally allowed to when selling property. Huh.

Lucky for us, there was an overwhelming majority opposed to the motion, and whoever originally presented it either didn't show up or didn't have the guts to make themselves known, and the motion died before it could even be brought to the floor.

But what do you all think? Whether it's legal or not, is it ethically or morally right to discriminate based on age in a situation like this? Should the owners of units in a building have the right to restrict ownership to certain individuals or not? Does ageism seem more of a gray area than racism or sexism, or discrimination due to a physical or mental condition? Is it more socially acceptable to discriminate against the young or the old? And, to look at it further, if it's bad to restrict age to 55, does that mean it's bad to keep it restricted to 18? Thoughts?